Dear mumnetters,
I have recently found a WhatApp text exchange between my DP of three and a half years and a woman I don't know.
A bit of history..
I have two children ages 10 and 7 from a previous relationship. We moved house and school to be closer to my DP and build a further as a family. We rented my place out and sold his home and last year bought a yacht and went sailing from July to October. Having not lived together full time before that, it was quite tough on us all, it was also one of the best experiences ever.
DP is very caring, loves the children, we have a fun loving relationship and great sexual chemistry. We are both strong characters and whilst he is punctual, always plans ahead, is neat, tidy and a bit of a know it all and says he likes who he is and won't change, I'm more spontaneous, creative and not the best time keeper or planner, but want to be more efficient, so I'm happy to compromise and try to get better at those things. So we clash on lots of issues. We argued a lot on the boat, (which both children have subsequently said they hated), and after another disagreement I found a text exchange to a female friend (one time girlfriend who he still keeps in contact with) asking her to pack in her job and join him sailing, suggesting that I would probably not stay much longer onboard.
I confronted him about this and he said that he had asked a number of friends to join him sailing. He had told me about others he'd invited, but not mentioned her to me. This left me feeling sad and vulnerable.
Anyway, just under a week ago, I saw another text from a woman I don't know. It appeared to have started in December and its the sort of exchange that you have after meeting on a dating website and you want to get to know each other better and arrange to meet etc.
She suggested a date this week, and he said he was drawn to meet her, but she shared with him that she wasn't sure about it as it they lived so far away from each other and she wants a relationship. It appears the rendezvous didn't happen and he stated he would like to chat more and learn more about her and that he's looking for someone to share life's adventures with. She has suggested meeting when they both have more time.
DP doesn't know I have read the texts and it has floored me. It left me feeling really nervous and I could hardly look at him that evening.
That was three days ago. We've been out looking at property's today and talking about future plans... I have decided to say nothing whilst I figure out what to do. (And also because I've been deceitful too looking through his phone).
DP and I have shared recently that we could both use some counselling to see if our differences are insurmountable or not. So I think maybe he is trying to figure out what to do because he adores being a family, but struggles so much with how difficult it can be for us.
Thanks for reading.