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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do you cope with a break up?

7 replies

Alittlebitlost20 · 30/01/2020 09:14

Please reply if you have any break up coping strategies. Basic background.. I was cheated on by my boyfriend (dating for around a year). He kissed another girl on a night out in town, he denies anything more happened yet he showed up at mine with lovebites and scratches down his arms.
I didn't know how to react at the time so I said I would give him a chance to try to make things up to me as he was begging me not to leave him, saying he'll do anything to fix this etc.
He eventually showed up at mine a few weeks later with flowers, presents, chocolates and an apology letter but he'd also decided he wanted to break up with me that day too.
This has taken me by surprise, if anything I thought I'd be the one ending things once I'd had time to get my head round everything. I feel like the choice was taken away from me.
I've struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager. I know I have some co dependency traits in relationships and this situation has floored me. I feel like I've lost my mind over the lack of control and I can't bare the thought of never seeing him again or having anyone to hold at night.
I have spoken to close friends and family, they have organised themselves to keep me safe from myself but I want to try help myself as much as I can.
So what are you post break up coping tips? How do you keep your mental health issues at bay?
I've had to leave a few things out of the post as it would be very outing otherwise but feel free to PM me.

OP posts:
Comps83 · 30/01/2020 09:22

I don't know what your home situation is but I've had 2 bad heartbreaks and each time I moved to a new area to start afresh
Went of plenty of holidays etc

But first of all block him on everything and avoid him at all cost

anotherdisaster · 30/01/2020 13:13

He has done you a massive favour. It sounds like you probably would have forgiven him and he's a cheat and liar. You are better off without him. Its sounds like some counselling would also help with this and your wider mental health issues.
Meanwhile, block him on everything, don't look on his social media and try to book in as many things as you can - nights out, holidays, nights in with friends, shopping, lunch. Having things to look forward to will help a bit.

Alittlebitlost20 · 30/01/2020 17:38

Thank you for the replies so far. I've booked in a night over at a friend's and a day trip out the day after so far. I think I do need some counseling to help get past everything in one piece.

OP posts:
Alittlebitlost20 · 30/01/2020 17:40

With regards to my home situation, I'm currently saving a house deposit up and don't really know where I want to settle yet so moving away is an option, I'm just so undecided where to go. I'm in the north east atm. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
Comps83 · 30/01/2020 17:58

I'm northeast too
Depends where you need to be? For work etc
I know you shouldn't have to move after a breakup but i just felt it was what I needed .

Alittlebitlost20 · 30/01/2020 19:30

Somewhere close to the A1 or A19 would work for commuting to work. I feel like everything around here is just a sad reminder.

OP posts:
Alittlebitlost20 · 01/02/2020 18:24

Well he has deleted/blocked me on everything, even after promising he wouldn't just disappear. What's the point?

OP posts:
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