Was my friend in the wrong or me ?

[INXS998]

Just two things that have happened recently.
I offered to do her hair colour, and our mutual friend said we could do it there then have dinner together afterwards.
It takes me a good hour to get to the other friend's house, and friend whose hair I was doing asked if we could meet at 2pm.
I set off, and at 1:45 I get a text saying, "Oh i'm not going to be there until 5 now as i'm meeting a friend first."
I asked her why she had told me to get there 3 hours early for no reason, that it was a waste of my time and inconsiderate. She said I 'needed to chill out, it was the holidays.' she also said "I don't give a damn" which is rude. I also pointed out that it was a little rude of her to have her hair dyed at the other friend's house and then not even stay for dinner after. She stayed for dinner in the end.

Another example. She lives in a houseshare and often invites people for drinks etc. The other housemates seem extremely messy and once myself and another friend cleaned up the house for her before she came back, which was her housemates' mess.
Recently she had another gathering and text saying her housemates had made another mess, could we come and help clean it. I was also inviting my friend for the very first time and felt so embarrassed telling her that. I texted this girl saying no as we had already done it, and we should we be cleaning up her housemates' mess. She replied "too bad, i'll do it myself."

I think she's just been selfish, I don't think I was being unfair in any of the examples ?

Tbh she doesn't sound like much of a friend, or that she even really likes you. She sounds like she uses you when she wants something, but couldn't really care less what you think /feel. Why did you go do her hair after she spoke to you that way?

Oh my goodness she sounds awful! Forget her OP. I wouldn't ever speak to her again. Cut her off.

Yeah, you're right I should have said I wasn't doing it. She can't say, "Yeah sorry, I was a little out of order there." just says it's me who needs to "chill out." and she's 31.

Not only using me but couldn't even be bothered to stay and have dinner with someone who has kindly let her use her living room to get her hair dyed.

It’s obvious she is wrong in these examples.

Does she ever do anything for you OP?

She sounds like a crap friend. Does she offer anything positive to your life?

Beyond rude.

She doesn't really offer anything sadly. The other week we went out and she was drunk. I said I was going to the bar and she asked me if I could get her a beer. When I brought it back she turned around and knocked most of it all over the floor, and didn't even apologise. It was for my birthday and the next day she was sending out messages saying thanks so much everyone for looking after me last night. It had been my birthday but she was trying to make it about her.
I think this needs to end to be honest.

• looking after me meaning herself.

She said I 'needed to chill out, it was the holidays.' she also said "I don't give a damn"

She's not your friend OP.

She’s not much of a friend.

Question... why do you continue to run around after this person ?

Hi OP,
This 'friend' sounds like an awful drain on you. I think you know this has reached the end. Time to move on in my view.
I think your life will be less stressful if you don't have to deal with this behaviour.

Are you guys teenagers?

She sounds selfish and immature and certainly no friend to you. I wouldnt bother with her anymore.

Do you have other friends OP?

I only ask because sometimes we hold on to friends who bring more difficulty than joy to our lives because we think we have no one else.

I’d she very young?

Ditch her, she sounds like a user and massively selfish.

She's not a good friend, phase her out

No she's 31 to the person who asked 'are you teenagers ?' I luckily do have other friends, just a shame that she gets angry when I am assertive and tries to make out it's me who's unreasonable. I will have to just phase her out.

You are wrong in that you call this user a friend.