How to reconnect?

[Onalake]

I have posted here a few times in the last few weeks about OH and our current issues, mainly relating to his alcohol consumtion.

As a result I have withdrawn emotionally. I wasn't even aware I was doing this until a couple of days ago, it seems to have been gradual and subconcious, and became apparent to me when OH went to kiss me good morning and I moved away to avoid. I then realised I had been doing this with increasing frequency.

OH is trying. He is going for councilling and has cut down his drinking considerably and not drinking spirits. The cutting down and not stopping totally at the moment is on the recommendation of his councillor and GP.

I know I have withdrawn as a form of self preservation, to protect myself from the hurt I have felt due to his past behaviours, but I don't want the distance between us to grow further.

He is trying, but I'm not sure what I can do to meet him half way on this. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I know I am being negative here, but I am not a fan of counselling, I did it before as an individual for different reasons, but it wasn't for me.

I think this is resentment of him also, I am sure you have lost respect due to his past behaviours. It will take time to repair that. I think you need to try and focus on the positive stuff he does. The fact that he is cutting down is a good thing.

I had councilling as a teenager and it was a disaster and was I dead against it for years. But...I went through some stuff more recently and i had to try again as there seemed no way out and I found a good councillor and am very glad I went. Might be worth reconsidering?

IMO you also need to talk your feelings through with him when he is sober. Gently though, so he doesn't spin out and hit the bottle. Maybe by telling him what you need rather than pulling his wrong doings apart....