Has anyone fallen for someone they barely know?

[strangethoughts]

Evening all

Strange one for me. I haven't spoken to anyone close to me about this as I'm afraid of what people may think..

About 18 months ago I met someone through a friend and I haven't stopped thinking about them. I've met them twice, we spoke a little but nothing major at all.
I was totally and utterly blown away by them.. and I'm not even sure why. Don't get me wrong, this person is very attractive and adventurous (both traits that would draw anyone in). However, I know plenty of beautiful, adventurous types.. but none of which have made me like this?!

I've been out of a relationship for a couple of months now and at first,18 months ago, when i was still in the relationship, I just figured I was getting a little bored and that I was having 'natural' wandering eyes. (I would like to say that I would never have acted on these feelings and I really just kept pushing them ( or trying) to the back of my mind.)

I think about this person daily. I'd love to say something to them BUT I'm a gay female and to my knowledge, this person is definitely not gay.

I'm not at all the obsessive type. I just wondered if anyone had ever had that 'blown away' moment or had the same type of 'obsessive' thoughts.

I know this might appear odd to people so go easy on me haha, I'm just being honest!

I have once. It was someone exDP worked in the same company as. I met him on a work night out and he hung out with us all evening. I couldn't stop thinking about him for ages. I saw him once again at another event and was shaking with nerves. Never saw him again. ExDP is ex for other reasons and I now have my lovely DH.

Jason mamoa- I'm sure he feels it too.

I'd just need to meet him in real life to double check!!

In all seriousness, I think sometimes theres a fleeting moment then it stays with our subconscious. I'd imagine if you spent more time with them, you wouldnt feel this way!

Enjoy the daydreaming though!

I'd call it an infatuation. It's on the extreme end, because 18 months is a long time for it to persist.

It's happened to me a few times. I find it really annoying, actually, and dangerous to existing relationships, obviously. The obsessive thinking becomes quite draining for me. I want to think about useful things, not to be drawn back to think the same things over and over about a person. First thing in the morning, last thing at night. Boring!

For me, it's not even particularly sexual, just a massive attraction for another person.

I was so irritated by it, I did some research into how to stop it!

You've only met this person a couple of times, but that's part of the problem: You imagine them to be somehow perfect. You only see beauty and adventure.

If you could spend more time with them you would quickly discover their faults and things that annoy you and that would very likely break the spell. This has worked for me, but it's not a great idea if you're not really supposed to be seeing them. I was once a bit obsessed with a married friend, so I didn't want to use that approach in case something happened!

Secondly, you could try no contact. Can be hard to achieve if this person is someone you can't avoid, and it takes a long time.

Thirdly, throw your attention and affection into someone else. This REALLY worked for me. Quite a bizarre story but I had strong feelings for someone, and because my marriage wasn't going well I really felt tempted to do something stupid. So I focused on my wife and did everything I could to be the best husband I could be. It saved my marriage.

Fourthly, make a move. If you get pushed back, that will stop it.

Interesting to me that you're a gay female and I'm a hetero male, yet we both have the same puzzlement about it.

I am in the same boat. Also 18 months and also gay female.

I hardly know the woman - and I am just blown away and besotted and completely taken over by her. She is straight, afaik. I see her often and we sometimes chat but nothing too personal.

It resulted in me ending my straight marriage and coming out as gay.

In many ways I am forever grateful for meeting her and getting the strength to finally acknowledge that I am and have been for a very long time a gay woman.
In many ways I wish I never met her and not gone through the heartbreak of my stupid unrequited love and not broken my poor husband's heart.
I don't know how to get over her. So no advice. But I feel your pain.

I had it once.

I worked in a hotel when I was 17/18. I was walking down the corridors when a tall, dark and handsome man (looked early twenties) walked towards me. He looked very dark and broody. Very sexy. That was the one time I saw him.

Anytime anyone mentioned the hotel I worked at, he always sprung to mind. I have momentarily thought of him quite often. I got married had 2 kids and separated from my husband. A few weeks after we separated I was invited on a light out by my best friend. We met at hers, she had her brother staying. He was tall dark, handsome. I was staying single for a good while so just ignored that I thought he was hot. Then he smiled and I was blown away. He literally stopped me in my tracks. We did have a fling. I called it off as I didnt want a relationship and we remained friends for 2 years. Then became a couple. We are still together now.

Not long after I met him, I was helping him with his CV. Turns out we worked in the same hotel at the same time. And I realised, he was the dark and broody man from the corridor.

I dont believe in destiny or soul mates. But it's good to know I fancied him then and fancy him almost 20 years later. Clearly, my type hasnt changed

@KirstyHasLeft WOW that is quite a story! Much love for having the courage to be who you are and live the life you want - I know how hard it can be!

@Shadyshadow also an amazing story! See I do think the world has very strange ways of showing us things but thats just my view. Love hearing stories like that

Yep, have a major crush on ds teacher. Doesn’t help that he has now been his teacher for 2 years (hasn’t gone away) I would obviously never do anything about it, some things are just better left in our heads

Yes. Loved him at first sight despite having scoffed at such nonsense in the past. Absolute lightning bolt "oh, it's you, you're here" feeling of coming home etc etc. It was incredible. He felt the same. Married with a rambunctious toddler now and still feel the same way!

I had this years ago. He was a friend of a friend and was with his girlfriend in John Lewis the first time I met him. I actually had to walk away and pretend to be looking at glassware as the pull was so strong. I remember feeling physically sick. I ended up dating him about 6 months later. He was a total dick.

I had this a few times when I was younger.

Mostly it turned out to be superficial. One time I married him. That was 15 years ago and we're still together.

Yup. Had one long date 2 years ago, he ghosted. Bumped into again in a bar, spent weekend together, he ghosted. So, met twice over 2 years. I think of him every day and cannot shake the feeling that we could have had something special. Of course he said all the right things.

It is really, really annoying as i cannot shake this feeling. No other man comes close which is the worst thing. I don't want to lose my chance at happiness and a family because of some bloke that doesn't even want me!

Realistically I know he was a bit of a chancer and told some outright lies about being keen on me but damn, he was absolutely everything I wanted.

In some seriously odd ways it has made me push to do better at certain things, knowing there is this mythical 'Mr Perfect' just out of reach.