Mum stole things from my room under the guise of 'tidying up'

[CloudsCanLookLikeSheep]

I'm a 43 year old woman, title makes me sound like a teenager. My mum still treats me like one I think.

I was away this weekend and my husband was home with my kids. My mum came round to see the kids and when husband's back was turned she 'tidied up' my study. She has been told numerous times not to go in my study. Hubby says he did not realise until it was too late, but she must have been there a while.

Came back and everything was rearranged, even things that had no cause to be, eg pen pot full of pens/cards had been rearranged into different containers. I totally felt like my privacy had been violated.

This morning I was looking for my ebay stock which I keep in a flexitub under my desk. Nothing was there not even the flexitub. Turns out she though it was rubbish (!) and took some stock (high end moisturisers I'd sold) for herself as she thought I didn't want it. This is stuff I've already sold, buyer is awaiting. No way did it even look like rubbish!

I've gone beserk and banned her from my house as I've asked her multiple times not to do this. She has apologised but I don't believe she won't do it again. What else can I do?

My MIL is a bit like this . She doesnt steal anything but she is constantly rearranging stuff which is not untidy and not need rearranging. One time in early autumn I bagged up all the summer clothes and clothes that are still to big for my daughter (which came from her other grandchildren), and put them at the top of her wardrobe. MIL does childcare one afternoon a week and had gone through the bag and put it all back in the drawers etc. Who thinks summer clothes put away in a bag need to be put back in a nearly full wardrobe. Also she had put some off my daughter's clothes in my son's cupboards. She also rearranged the pot plants every freaking time. It's under the guise of "help" Yet she won't empty the dishwasher or anything which is obviously helpful!! It used to feel really intrusive, but after 5 years, I just switch it all back and mutter to myself.

Wow I wouldn’t put up with that. I cannot abide it when people are disrespectful of me and that is so incredibly disrespectful. I wouldn’t allow them back into my home, and if my OH didn’t back me up and defend my boundaries I would leave him.

Lock the study door. If she asks why, tell her it's because experience shows you can't trust her. If she acts hurt, tough.

If you think she might 'tidy' in other rooms too, then you need to not let her come over unless you're there to supervise her. And tell her that.

She would be banned from my home.

Can't abide liars let alone thieves.

No, she night not be malignant but lets say, your case has 'features of interest'

She isn't treating you like a teenager. No reasonable mum would steal from their child however old they were. Rearranging is one thing, stealing is something else. There is absolutely no excuse for this. She is a thief.

She needs to replace what she took/threw out. All of it. I would also get a lock on my study door, and not allow her over unless she is supervised by you. Tell her why. TBH, your DH should have kept closer tabs on her too.

If she's been told numerous times, I guess locking would have been prudent when it became obvious that she was taking no notice?

If she genuinely thought it was rubbish, why would she have taken it home & not binned it at yours?

Hope your trust in letting her post the stuff isn't misplaced.