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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's to do

21 replies

Skytrain · 28/01/2020 00:57

Good evening
A while back I discovered my partner , wife had been having an affair for around eight years, I finally confirmed my suspicions via the traditional route of the mobile phone , the best bit is it's,a phone she told me I could have as mine was playing up. I had switched it on and found there was personal stuff left on it, she had it left over after an upgrade, so I turned it off and told her she should take a look , I was told there was nothing on it and it was fine, I didn't use it . Now she had an ex work mate that she would go out with from time to time , not every week bit it was a regular thing , they would go out for a meal and drinks etc , I would look after our little one, I was ok with this then there was the evening she didn't come home, I got a text message to say she had had too much to drink and was staying over, her friend did have a long term girl friend soon to be wife so it wad not the end of the world though I didnt know if she was there and why would I pry, I did have a bad feeling about it as I had had a similar thing with a previous girlfriend and that didn't end well. So the next day she came home and all seemed fine except oddly while hanging out the washing I did come across some lacey knickers that I had not had the benefit of.
So this was a cycle, she would go off for an eve or during the day and have het meal and drinks etc and I would moan that I didn't get to go out for cocktails and be told that there was nothing more to it than friendship, it would be every few weeks , I would often pick her up , I didn't know for certain anything was going on and didn't want to push it as our relationship was a little distant , there was not much intimacy at all with weeks passing without anything happening between us and it really got to me, there was so little going on I suggested that we should try for another child so our existing one could have some company, well that was a brilliant idea, I got three shags out of it over some weeks and she fell pregnant, this time round no sex no nothing during the pregnancy but I thought that was understandable though she would still see her friend from time to time and by now her friend had married his partner, my wife went to their marriage with our child.
We had twins the birth was interesting but nobody died, some weeks past then it was back to the normal routine , I proposed we got married he and his wife came to the wedding, but a year later I was told they were getting divorced, and he was planning to move back to his birth town a hundred and fifty miles away, I was delighted . He did move away but it didn't stop, she told me she needed s break and wanted to see his new house etc, my wife works hard , the children are hard work so it's not unreasonable to want a break , but not with me, anyway a new cycle started she would go for a weekend from time to time , once I was told she was off to another old workmates place but that her friends sister lived in the same town and she was going to see him at his sister's on the Sunday .
All the time I would look after the children and feel bloody awful, in the days leading up to these breaks there was a chain of events, she would shave and trim more than usual, possibly get her hair done and I might get a sympathy shag, yay. It would have gone on like this forever , so she was due to visit him and I had been given a few days warning , but this time around the stress was getting to me and I blew a gasket when she confirmed that she was off again, it was obvious I was unhappy and angry and distressed but she went anyway. she left on a Fri and I had not heard from her by Sat lunch , this had happened before but she had called in the afternoon telling me she had forgotten her charger and her phone died, she had a Samsung with a very common charging fitting at the time, so I switched on the phone she had given me and took a look through it and found a series of exchanges between her and her friend that confirmed what I had kind of known for a while , they were having sex and he was getting fun stuff not on the menu for me , and it was also obvious that there were occasions where she had told me she was going out after work with work mates or had told me she was held uo and was in fact meeting up with him as he was in town, that was nice, and she was enthusiastic about these meetings.
When I found out I felt wretched , I didn't think it would affect me the way it did , I know people cheat, it's not the end of the world it's human nature, but it had been going on for years, and she wanted to see him and he got a version of her I have never really had, we ended up staying together, I love her and we have children and where would I go, years of feeling crap have taken a toll and I don't have much money of my own and don't feel any enthusiasm for living in some dreadful bedsit, she tells me it was a mistake and she is sorry and she won't see him again etc but I think I am being kept on as the children need a father and she needs the childcare, also it would seem none of her friend's or family know, and I think she is rather scared of being found out. My problem is I am drifting along not really knowing what to do, I still love and fancy her and the children are happy and mostly lovely but I have no idea of my own future, I don't trust her and she had lied to my face even when it was obvious how upsetting it was to me, and after looking at other old phones it had been going on for eight years or so, as far as intimacy is concerned it's pretty awful, I get a hand job every three weeks to a month and actual and as for an actual shag that is down to once every six weeks to two months, I get a kiss when she leaves for work and a kiss at night when she goes to bed , I cannot remember the last time I got a spontaneous hug. I love the children but I suspect I will be kept on until they are older then I will be binned off.

OP posts:
Mikeymoo12 · 28/01/2020 01:37

I am sorry but I do not understand why you are putting up with this!! She sounds awful and yes you will probably say it's not all bad but she has lied to your face for years. Go now!! You can still be a great dad to your kids and hopefully meet someone who does love and appreciate you!! Please please do not stay with this vile woman. You say you have nothing but that's not true, you have yourself and your kids and you will get through it. Don't waste your life on this woman

lexiepuppy · 28/01/2020 02:03

I totally agree with Mickeymoo12.
Why have you set your bar so low?
She is not the only woman on the planet and she sounds completely nasty.

You would be better off without her and finding somebody who really loves you.

I have 3 bits of relationship advice that help me and hopefully it will help you too.

  1. You can not force someone to love you.
2.The only persons behaviour you can control is your own. 3.The only person that can make you truly happy is yourself.

You deserve so much better than her.
Put yourself forward for some counselling to work out why your self esteem is so low you would put up with this.

Does she remind you of a parent or sibling?

Take her off the pedestal and put yourself up there instead. Flowers

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 28/01/2020 04:10

OP this is awful and you can't keep on living like this. Your self esteem is in tatters. She's been lying to your face for years. Years!

Do you work? I'm assuming you're the main caregiver for your DC seeing as she fucks off to the OM at every opportunity. In that case she would normally be expected to move out and pay child maintenance to you. Do you know how much she earns? Do you rent or own?

Mikeymoo12 · 28/01/2020 07:55

I really hope you read these and realise your self worth and tell her to get lost!

PaterPower · 28/01/2020 08:05

Bin her off.

Cheating isn’t “something that just happens” - she’s put time and effort into continuing this affair. I would argue that she considers her “real” relationship to be with him and you’re just the mug who part finances it and gives her the opportunity to have weekends away.

Your self worth will improve massively once you kick her to the curb. Honestly.

On a different note, are you sure that the children are yours? It seems awfully “lucky” that she got pregnant within three tries with you. If she was seeing him (and sleeping with him) more regularly than you, then I’m afraid he’s more likely to be the biological father. Genetic testing kits are pretty cheap.

Stressedout10 · 28/01/2020 08:18

OP you don't have to leave you can and should kick her cheating arse out
You and your DC deserve so much better.
Also you really need to have a long hard think about whether you want to get a DNA test as there's a very good chance that the twins are not yours, sorry to say but you have to consider if you want the truth

hellsbellsmelons · 28/01/2020 08:39

Well... what you do is kick her cheating arse out!
That's a no-brainer OP!
Please want more for yourself.
What about your DC. What would you say to one of them if they came to you with the same story?
You deserve far better than this and you know it.
Stop putting up with it.
Stop being a doormat.
Get her gone and do some work on yourself and your self-esteem.

Skytrain · 28/01/2020 11:29

I guess this is kind of what I expected,
my wife has treated me abysmally and,I wouldn't wish it on another but relationships are often far from ideal and while it took me an hour to tap out the first message it can't cover how complicated human behaviour can be, oddly enough she is not some gargoyle she has a good job/career and works hard , she is an excellent mother to the children and if we went our separate ways the children would be better off with her, she had many redeeming features, I still love her and find her very attractive , that nay be tainted by wanting what you can't have, well not often enough. I do work and it's my work that had kept me going, I thought I would cope better when I finally found out for sure but it was a horrid kind of grief that took an age to shake, at present I just seem to lack drive to move either way , it's tiring in a weird way.

OP posts:
SeagullOnTheWind · 28/01/2020 11:38

I'm so, so sorry. I do think you're being taken for a mug and if someone leaves it should be her.

As a person in a sexless, intimateless partnership myself (feels like he's a housemate) I can resonate with some of your feelings.

But I know mine isn't sleeping around. I don't know what that would do to me.

I don't have answers for you, but I do think you're worth so much more and I reckon you're right, she will bin you off when the kids are old enough.

Mikeymoo12 · 28/01/2020 11:39

OP you may still love her but the person you love does not really exist. She has constantly lied and treated like nothing. I think if this was a friend you would tell them to run for the hills. You have so little self confidence it is so obvious in your posts but you are worth so much more than this. You can be happy again without her and I hope you realise that. Your kids would be horrified to know she has treated you like this. Please speak to people and get out of this, life is too short do not waste it on someone who has done this to you and made you have no self worth

WestCountryLady · 28/01/2020 11:41

She sounds like your average man.
LTB

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 28/01/2020 11:51

She may be a good mum but she's a shit wife. And I'd question whether a good mum would treat the father of her children with such utter disrespect and contempt.

What is SHE doing to try to repair the damage she has wilfully inflicted on your marriage? Because a monthly handjob and two-monthly pity shag are definitely not going to cut the mustard.

If she hasn't made any effort or even given you a genuine apology then I would say your suspicions are correct and you're being kept around for purely practical reasons.

If you don't want to leave now, I'd get yourself in a position to increase your earning power and start doing things to build your own confidence. Look for new hobbies and spend more time with friends. Work on being your best self, so that if/when the marriage ends, you will be in a good position to move on without this joke of a woman.

hellsbellsmelons · 28/01/2020 11:53

Radical but..... could you discuss an open relationship or a relationship where you are separated but live together!?
You can't continue like this.
And get and STI check!

Skytrain · 28/01/2020 12:21

I know I need to get my arse in gear and make myself more independent, and then I will have better options, I am not in the first flush of youth and find the thought of actively searching out another partner a painful one, I 've been there before and I would rather get on with life. The time this was going on I did kind of know but always felt on the back foot and it ground away at me , it's odd I didn't know or realise how messed up it was and I was , an open relationship sounds my worse nightmare, I still get to stay at home , and imagine her having fun ..

OP posts:
bigmamama · 28/01/2020 12:22

So much easier said then done, leave her, your better off without her etc etc.
Have you considered marriage counselling ? Do you actually both want it to work ? Does she still love and want to be with you?

What exactly is it that you want now ? Apart from to go back to how it used to be which would be the obvious.
So many questions I know but talking will help especially to her. Not just us x

Skytrain · 28/01/2020 13:18

I went to Mind which helped , it would appear years of feeling of little value had turned me into an idiot that took on too much for too little just because I wanted to be liked, all well and good but it's bot a great business model , even now I am still struggling with my work/financial situation, I did suggest Relate but she actually said what's that, which wad funny and then it would cost too much and who would look after the kids off we both went. She said she wad sorry but wouldn't go into why it went on for so long and said she didn't realise how much harm it wad doing , I do think the children are mine as they have my colouring, all look similar and like me when I wad a child, although I did consider a DNA check .

OP posts:
PinkMonkeyBird · 28/01/2020 14:37

Wow, she said it was a 'mistake'?? How can a mistake last 8 years?!

OP, I'm so sorry to read your post..she's really put you through the mill and is an utterly despicable person. You honestly deserve better because she will go back to this man at the first opportunity available.

I know it might seem a mountain to climb, but you really need to concentrate on yourself, build up your own life and put things into place to be independent from her. I know you love her, but I think you are more likely in love with the person she probably was before all this. You cannot make her love you and it doesn't sound like she is putting in 100% to redeem herself either.

Life is too short on wasting time with people like this. I've been there, believe me. I thought I had nothing and was worth nothing, but I'm out of that situation now and know I was deserving of a lot more than I was putting up with.

She was not only disrespecting you, she was doing this to her whole family!! Think about that. She gave no shits whilst off with her other man and you were left looking after the kids. Please cut ties with her for your own sake and to make a better future for yourself. You do not deserve this.

Mikeymoo12 · 28/01/2020 15:35

You say about not wanting to start a relationship again but if you were to split it's not about finding someone else, it's about living your life for you and your kids whether you do meet someone or not. Unsurprisingly you sound very depressed and the situation you are in is just adding to that. Please start realising your own self worth and you will realise you are worth more than this

Skytrain · 29/01/2020 00:13

thank you for the replies , you are all right , but, there are children, I love and if possible I would rather not contribute to making their lives unhappy as at present they are healthy and happy and doing well , while my life is a mess it would be a shame to drag theirs with it merely to prove some sort of point, and I like company I don't want to be alone and miserable I'd rather have company and be miserable for the meantime. I wanted to know more detail, what I had done that had started this, my wife said she was unhappy ad while she was on maternity leave I had not been there enough, I am self employed and was working, if I don't work I don't get money , I wad not staying away because I wanted to and I don't think I worked terrible hours, if need be I could whizz back and help out , later on I would drive our child to nursery which was miles out of my way so my partner could run straight into work in the morning, I did try to be helpful, and I thought we were happy, we still did things and there wad still sex and general intimacy but it changed , not really sure when but she would see her friend every few weeks and one eve she didn't come home after that it really changed, she seemed to go into herself and there was little on the way of intimacy for weeks at a time which I found awful, I like kissing, holding someone and definitely sex, it's fun. I suppose going forward as has been mentioned above I need to get myself covered as I do suspect ultimately I will get binned off , that said the other day one of the twins was annoyed with me and told me his mum would divorce me, which wad nice and whike I found it upsetting she found it funny and said it wouldn't happen. I would obviously like more on the intimacy/sex front but don't want to emotionally blackmail her into it, I am pretty angry that some other sod got the fun stuff with underwear and scarf fun, it was on the phone , and I got to go to the Cinema and the odd shag when the stars briefly aligned from time to time. if anyone is wondering if I had got fat and comfortable with kids, I have the same size clothes I had thirty years ago, I am a bit above average height and am average weight, I was pleasantly surprised to find I have an above average , according to statistics, penis ( always found that a funny word) I have hair and teeth and am physically active and know what soap is, I don't think I am an awful bloke. If we do end up separating she is the better person to look after the children, I would would definitely find being the weekend dad thing distressing and maybe the children would too.

OP posts:
Mikeymoo12 · 29/01/2020 21:50

You sound so sad and down and lacking hope OP have you thought of counselling and I don't mean relate I mean for yourself? You probably have not been perfect in the relationship none of us ever are but you have sounded supportive and loving and do not deserve to be treated like this

Brig93 · 02/02/2020 00:07

Im so sorry you went through this. You need freedom program. They would help to value yourself again, because its seems like you given up on your own happiness. And DNA check is a good idea. Please look after yourself, I don’t mean physical appearance but your soul and mental health. You endured a lot and you don’t see yourself as you should, a caring, loving husband.

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