Good evening
A while back I discovered my partner , wife had been having an affair for around eight years, I finally confirmed my suspicions via the traditional route of the mobile phone , the best bit is it's,a phone she told me I could have as mine was playing up. I had switched it on and found there was personal stuff left on it, she had it left over after an upgrade, so I turned it off and told her she should take a look , I was told there was nothing on it and it was fine, I didn't use it . Now she had an ex work mate that she would go out with from time to time , not every week bit it was a regular thing , they would go out for a meal and drinks etc , I would look after our little one, I was ok with this then there was the evening she didn't come home, I got a text message to say she had had too much to drink and was staying over, her friend did have a long term girl friend soon to be wife so it wad not the end of the world though I didnt know if she was there and why would I pry, I did have a bad feeling about it as I had had a similar thing with a previous girlfriend and that didn't end well. So the next day she came home and all seemed fine except oddly while hanging out the washing I did come across some lacey knickers that I had not had the benefit of.
So this was a cycle, she would go off for an eve or during the day and have het meal and drinks etc and I would moan that I didn't get to go out for cocktails and be told that there was nothing more to it than friendship, it would be every few weeks , I would often pick her up , I didn't know for certain anything was going on and didn't want to push it as our relationship was a little distant , there was not much intimacy at all with weeks passing without anything happening between us and it really got to me, there was so little going on I suggested that we should try for another child so our existing one could have some company, well that was a brilliant idea, I got three shags out of it over some weeks and she fell pregnant, this time round no sex no nothing during the pregnancy but I thought that was understandable though she would still see her friend from time to time and by now her friend had married his partner, my wife went to their marriage with our child.
We had twins the birth was interesting but nobody died, some weeks past then it was back to the normal routine , I proposed we got married he and his wife came to the wedding, but a year later I was told they were getting divorced, and he was planning to move back to his birth town a hundred and fifty miles away, I was delighted . He did move away but it didn't stop, she told me she needed s break and wanted to see his new house etc, my wife works hard , the children are hard work so it's not unreasonable to want a break , but not with me, anyway a new cycle started she would go for a weekend from time to time , once I was told she was off to another old workmates place but that her friends sister lived in the same town and she was going to see him at his sister's on the Sunday .
All the time I would look after the children and feel bloody awful, in the days leading up to these breaks there was a chain of events, she would shave and trim more than usual, possibly get her hair done and I might get a sympathy shag, yay. It would have gone on like this forever , so she was due to visit him and I had been given a few days warning , but this time around the stress was getting to me and I blew a gasket when she confirmed that she was off again, it was obvious I was unhappy and angry and distressed but she went anyway. she left on a Fri and I had not heard from her by Sat lunch , this had happened before but she had called in the afternoon telling me she had forgotten her charger and her phone died, she had a Samsung with a very common charging fitting at the time, so I switched on the phone she had given me and took a look through it and found a series of exchanges between her and her friend that confirmed what I had kind of known for a while , they were having sex and he was getting fun stuff not on the menu for me , and it was also obvious that there were occasions where she had told me she was going out after work with work mates or had told me she was held uo and was in fact meeting up with him as he was in town, that was nice, and she was enthusiastic about these meetings.
When I found out I felt wretched , I didn't think it would affect me the way it did , I know people cheat, it's not the end of the world it's human nature, but it had been going on for years, and she wanted to see him and he got a version of her I have never really had, we ended up staying together, I love her and we have children and where would I go, years of feeling crap have taken a toll and I don't have much money of my own and don't feel any enthusiasm for living in some dreadful bedsit, she tells me it was a mistake and she is sorry and she won't see him again etc but I think I am being kept on as the children need a father and she needs the childcare, also it would seem none of her friend's or family know, and I think she is rather scared of being found out. My problem is I am drifting along not really knowing what to do, I still love and fancy her and the children are happy and mostly lovely but I have no idea of my own future, I don't trust her and she had lied to my face even when it was obvious how upsetting it was to me, and after looking at other old phones it had been going on for eight years or so, as far as intimacy is concerned it's pretty awful, I get a hand job every three weeks to a month and actual and as for an actual shag that is down to once every six weeks to two months, I get a kiss when she leaves for work and a kiss at night when she goes to bed , I cannot remember the last time I got a spontaneous hug. I love the children but I suspect I will be kept on until they are older then I will be binned off.