Trusting again?

[whydoidothisallthetime]

So I have just started dating again after a very horrible toxic relationship where he constantly lied to me about other girls.

How the hell do you trust anyone again?

Take one day at a time, you'll get there.

I had the same issue didn’t trust anyone for years.

Then I met my current partner and he’s really shown how much he loves me and puts me first. After a while I began to realise he DESERVES my trust.

If it goes well OP, you wouldn’t want to ruin something that could be potentially good because you have brought the past in to your present. A good person deserves better than that.

One day at a time Op, unfortunately you can’t control who hurts you and who doesn’t. If they are going to cheat or lie, they will. You might as well let it go and be happy in the mean time. And I’d they do you wrong; it’s their loss. On to the next!

Honestly - you don't really.
How long since you split up with your Ex?
What you need to do is work on yourself and your trust issues.
You need an understanding partner and you need to build the trust with someone new.
It's gonna be hard but it is do-able.

Same here. 18 months down the line and I'm still having trust issues. Hes a guy thats constantly on his phone, Twitter and YouTube videos mainly, nothing untrustworthy at all but I get it in my head that he is messaging girls or looking up better options for when hes had enough of me. I'm constantly thinking of the negatives and 'what if's'... what if he finds someone who makes him laugh more, what if he gradually gets bored of me. Things have come to a head now as my paranoid state of mind is constantly accusing him out loud now.
There were messages from a few months into our relationship- absolutely nothing from then on but I've taken them and run with them.
I've snooped his phone quite a lot recently and never find any messages etc, found the odd internet search for porn (once during an extremely bad patch) and some searches of sexy celebrities which are obviously for self pleasure (bit of a confidence knock but I'm so glad that there is no cheating for real so can live with the normal Male fantasies) I'm just full of low self esteem and no confidence. So hard when someone has totally abused your trust in the past and they carry on ruining your future but we have to not let them. I've started counselling and looking up self help sites about trust and going through partners phones etc. They have really been helping alot. Started going to the gym each morning for an hour and it really clears your head x

The messages I found were to an ex colleague who came into his work when we had been together for 4 months,told me he loved me 2 months prior to that and things were going good. They were flirty texts, saying that she looked stunning and he didnt think he would of seen her again and it's a shame things didnt work out. This girl was beautiful and it broke my heart but since then we have been through a lot and there has been absolutely nothing since those few messages on that one day.
It will be hard but I cant lose this guy. He has done nothing wrong and keeps me calm when I'm stressed, he has anxiety meeting new people etc but he has always come to family get togethers to meet new family even though he gets uncomfortable and shy and says he only does it cos it makes me smile. It will take a lot of time but it will happen. We cant let them ruin our future as well as our past