Relationship has broken down but is it my fault?

[breakupblues]

I know I'm not the only one but right now it feels as if I'm the only one going through a break up! Anyone else? Fancy talking about it until we're sick of talking about it?

After 2 years in a relationship with my partner, they decided to call it quits just after Christmas.
We'd not been ok for the last 6 months - for a variety of reasons... I was made redundant, money issues (because of said redundancy), a very sick parent, a very sick grandparent, my partners job being stressful, a depressed parent, bouts of illnesses (I'm not talking flu..).. the list felt never ending.

After what seemed like the best 18 months of my life, it just sort of started to go in to a decline where we just couldn't help each other/ support each other etc.

I was depressed over those 6 months, and my ex couldn't handle it. I wouldnt say I was depressed for the full 6 months, it was mainly over the last 2 months that I really slumped in to a pit. I continued with therapy and a course of Ad's but it felt like I was spiralling.
My ex has their own issues and family issues and they just couldnt be there for me. My ex told me that it was that they wanted someone stronger, someone who had a job (I have recently just started a new job), someone with their life together.. like I had when we began dating. My ex resents me as they believe I didn't help myself in this time and that I am to blame for the relationship falling apart.

That's what has happened in a nutshell. Since then my ex as been in contact and says that they see a future with me but I need to get my life back on track so that I can not only support them but support myself. My ex and I have also agreed to meet up in a few weeks.
Since Christmas I have moved out and I am trying to work on myself as best I can.

I just want advice. Am I being stupid? Is it bad for a partner to leave another when things get tough or should I cut my partner some slack and realise that they might just have needed more support?

I am very confused.

Please help/ discuss your break up

It's not exactly "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer". Accept you're not married but someone who can't support you in bad times isn't someone you should be with

Never enter a relationship with caveats and conditions

no matter the whys and wherefores you didnt work in a relationship before ....and the fear of something going wrong again will have you both in a poor situation before you even start...

what if your new company/ their company goes bust??? instantly dumped....???? its really really not a good idea..

get yourself some support and maybe gove yourself some time to replenish your capacity and strength sounds like you've been through an awful lot of major stress events....wouldn wonder about a relationship for a bit ...

They abandoned you in your time of need, you had a ridiculous amount going on, enough to cause anyone to suffer with your mental health and his answer was to dump you.
Better off without him, move on and find someone who will love and support you in your darkest hour as well as the happy moments in your life.
He's an arse

So he only wants the good times and doesn't want to support you when things are crap?
Nah, you can do better than this using Muppet.
I hope things get better and better for you, just don't let him back into your life.

I've suffered with depression, to the point where I have baited my partner to argue with me. I have said horrible things. I'm still not sure why. Maybe to push him away because I felt unworthy. But he never left my side.
I now feel so incredibly lucky to have him, we have a beautiful daughter and couldn't be stronger. My point is. You needed him and he didnt care enough to be there for you.
What happens in the future if you feel low? Best not to tell him because he will dump you again?. Depression never really disappears you will always have good and bad days. Never feel ashamed of that, and dont let him make you feel ashamed of that. Move on and love yourself

Why are people assuming it's a he? The OP is clearly using gender neutral pronouns.

OP it might be one of those things - a victim of circumstance. But in some ways it's useful to have this test now and not when you've got kids or have bought a house together. All I can say, from my own experience, is that sometimes adversity brings people closer together and sometimes it breaks them, and it's not clear whether it's the timing, or that the couple were mismatched.

Early on in DH and my relationship a load of very bad things happened, and it made us stronger. Something similar happened in our close friend's much longer and apparently solid relationship, and it broke them.

Life happens. If we can't support each during hard times then that's not a functioning relationship. for you OP.

Why are people assuming it's a he? The OP is clearly using gender neutral pronouns.

Yes and it's getting increasingly irritating the more threads that do it.