I desperately need advice. I have spoken to people close to me and they have all given their advice but I need an outsiders opinion. I'm sorry it's so long!! Xx
I have been with my husband for 7 years. We have been married for 7 months. We have 2 children (eldest is mine from previous relationship). He works in a very good, well paid job (approx. £90k p/a), I work part-time (approx. £7k p/a).
He's always been a bit controlling, but in a subtle way. Basically, if there's a big decision to be made he'll be the one to make it. I have no say, no voice. If I have an opinion it'll be half listened to, if he can tear himself off of his phone, and then my opinion is irrelevant as we're basically going with whatever he decides.
For instance 'my' car, he chose a huge 4x4, I didn't want it, it was too big but he just said we needed it and I'd get used to driving it! After a year I put my foot down and said I don't want it anymore! So he compromised, I could have smaller car but only if it was an Audi, BMW or Mercedes. He has to make sure everything he has is the best. The car is in his name.
He controls all financial aspects, all bills come out of his bank account. We have a 'joint' account but this is money he puts in from his personal bank account. This is for shopping and anything the children need. If this runs out I have to ask him to put more in. Then I get questioned; how much, what for, are you sure we need it. He moans at me for spending it and claims we have no money but I have no idea what he gets paid per month, what bills we pay, what savings we have, nothing!!
He alway makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him like I should look after myself better, go to the gym, go running etc. He'll make a face or a noise if I eat something he doesn't think I should, or if he isn't eating the same. It's like everything is ok for him but it's a different story for me.
He's very manipulative but not in an obvious way. I suffer with severe depression and am in strong antidepressants. If I try to talk to him about anything he says he'll change (does for a couple weeks then straight back to how he was before), or he'll ask if it's because of my illness that I'm like this. I'm
I moved 100 miles away from my family and friends to be with him. I was having a really hard time where I lived, I was a single parent, really struggling. I met him online and it felt as if he was 'saving' me, my knight in shining armour. But now it's all changed and I feel so lonely, trapped and suffocated! I have no family where I live now (I'm extremely close to my family), a few friends. I've asked and discussed if we can move back to where I'm from and he just tells me all these reasons why it would be a terrible idea. My daughter is 8 and has started asking if we can move back as she's really unhappy being away from her family. We moved when she was 2!
I could go on talking about things he does for a lot longer but I won't bore you anymore!!
I just need help, I have no idea what to do! I'm desperately unhappy, don't particularly like him anymore let alone love him but I'll be breaking up our family if I leave, not sure I can do that to my babies. Plus if ever I speak to him about me being unhappy he gets upset and I feel so guilty like I've ripped his heart in two!
Please help xx