Traded in for a younger model . Anyone?

[organisedchaosagain]

How do you get over the humiliation or do you ever?
On paper, I know the lack is with him, that he is unhappy unfulfilled man.
I can't get my head around leaving me and our kids, one with asd and the other with anxiety. Just like that and for a prettier shinier younger new version.
Having spent years supporting him funding him to enable him to climb professionally and then when he reaches the top,Whalen the sacrifices have been made , he leaves? How does this work out . Please and thanks

Sorry - no answers. This must be awful for you - but you will move on in time. Wishing you all the best

Thank you.

Have you gotten copies of all the accounts/financials? Get hike to strike a deal financially while there's still some guilt. You'll all move on. It's just hard.

That is really hard but all to common with men of a certain age. I'm not sure they realize how pathetic they look and how broke most of them end up supporting two families.
It must be totally galling but make sure you get the best financial deal possible- and strike while there is still an element of guilt. Also insist he shares custody, much harder to move on if you never have a spare minute to.

I am in the middle of it all too, 2 DC one has ASD.He buggered off with a younger model. I know how you are feeling and it really the biggest betrayal and just a total screw you to everything you have supported them through. Yep, I don't have any advice as I am working through it all myself but I wanted to you to know I totally get it.

It’s because some men don’t like to look at the woman who built them up. They prefer to have one who has only ever seen them as successful, and all of that success he can attribute to himself. She can gaze at him and fall for all his ridiculous stories. Women are sometimes their worst enemies in this respect.

Get the best deal for your kids - and share custody! Good luck.

Agree with LexMitior. I was with mine for seven years, supported him when he was out of work, got him to quit smoking, encouraged him to learn to cook, encouraged him to maintain contact with friends, used my own contacts to get him a good job, encouraged him to ask for a patriae, etc. Felt like I built him up to be more successful in many ways. Then all of a sudden when we were buying a house together he bailed and left me picking up the pieces including pulling out of the house purchase.

He didn't have another woman lined up but a year later he is with someone about ten years younger who has only left university in the last few years, basically just into adulthood, and who can enjoy all the "great" things about him that actually I helped him develop.

That was my last serious relationship and although I am seeing someone off/on now I have resolved to never have another serious relationship again. I will never love with another man again. I am done with building men up and being burned.

*ask for a payrise!

Sorry to hear it. He will regret it if it's any consolation. Make sure you get your money and assets sorted in the split, go in with a cool head and get what you're entitled to.

It works out that he looks like a sad mid-life crisis prick, and you move on with your life, OP. Relationships aren't a sunk cost fallacy and what we put into them will never guarantee what we get out and that is a hard lesson to learn but there is absolutely no humiliation on your behalf, only his really.

As others have said, get a solicitor, get what you're owed for what you put in, stabilise the DC's lives as much as you can and look after yourself. Don't fall into the traps of 'it's his loss' 'he will regret it's- he might not. Much better to focus on the fact ir doesn't matter. He isn't who you thought he was, the relationship was not what you thought it was. What he is off doing and thinking doesn't actually matter because he is done with and his wants are not a reflection of your value.

I assure you that this is not about you not being good enough. This is about him not feeling good enough. He’s a climber, hiker, thrill seeker. Your downfall was being stable if you see what I mean. But that’s not a fault in you, that just highlights his lack of security, ability. He constantly needed to achieve to feel good about himself, and yet he never actually will realistically, long term.
He is likely to fall and when he does, you can watch from the sidelines and remind yourself that younger, prettier isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
I have known some very attractive men and women over the years. Lots of us envy them or feel inadequate around them. But the truth is, so many people who are obviously attractive, tend to attract lots of people but ince in a relationship, the person they’re with feels insecure. The attractive person will always question ‘are you with me for me or how I look?’
It’s a bit like being really wealthy. ‘Would you still want me without my money?’
Try not to question what’s gone wrong. Look forward. Make a plan for yourself and your children. Hold your head up high and strut your stuff. But above all be incredibly reasonable. Forget bitterness and show that man what he’s missing out on. Warm, friendly, together fantastic you. X

Happened to me just over two years ago.

I am not humiliated by his choices or behaviour. It reflects on him not me.

Please don't think this is about you. It's him!