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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break up blues

2 replies

breakupblues · 26/01/2020 23:46

I know I'm not the only one but right now it feels as if I'm the only one going through a break up! Anyone else? Fancy talking about it until we're sick of talking about it?

After 2 years in a relationship with my partner, they decided to call it quits just after Christmas.
We'd not been ok for the last 6 months - for a variety of reasons... I was made redundant, money issues (because of said redundancy), a very sick parent, a very sick grandparent, my partners job being stressful, a depressed parent, bouts of illnesses (I'm not talking flu..).. the list felt never ending.

After what seemed like the best 18 months of my life, it just sort of started to go in to a decline where we just couldn't help each other/ support each other etc.

I was depressed over those 6 months, and my ex couldn't handle it. I wouldnt say I was depressed for the full 6 months, it was mainly over the last 2 months that I really slumped in to a pit. I continued with therapy and a course of Ad's but it felt like I was spiralling.
My ex has their own issues and family issues and they just couldnt be there for me. My ex told me that it was that they wanted someone stronger, someone who had a job (I have recently just started a new job), someone with their life together.. like I had when we began dating. My ex resents me as they believe I didn't help myself in this time and that I am to blame for the relationship falling apart.

That's what has happened in a nutshell. Since then my ex as been in contact and says that they see a future with me but I need to get my life back on track so that I can not only support them but support myself. My ex and I have also agreed to meet up in a few weeks.
Since Christmas I have moved out and I am trying to work on myself as best I can.

I just want advice. Am I being stupid? Is it bad for a partner to leave another when things get tough or should I cut my partner some slack and realise that they might just have needed more support?

I am very confused.

Please help/ discuss your break up

OP posts:
MMadness · 27/01/2020 04:41

Tell them to fuck along. Sometimes we need someone else to be strong for us when we can't. Someone who loves you does their best to do so. Nor laying conditions of what you're allowed to feel to be with them.

Sort your depression for you. Get mentally strong and healthy and you'll realise your better off without that jerk.

breakupblues · 27/01/2020 09:22

Thank you, I definitely hear what you're saying. Really tough when feeling alone

OP posts:
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