Going out on a limb. I am a rape Survivour of two different men.
I am also sex and BDSM writer.
I really do believe that unless we seek healing for both physical, emotional and spiritual trauma, we can just go back into that moment.
This is odd but sexually, I got over it. I'm not multiple orgasmic and an evaluator. Be cause for ne, the trauma of the rape etcs was never held in my body, it was held in my mind and spirit.
For me, a far FAR worse trauma was not being believed. That pretty much destroys me every day.
But what is normal? Its tricky to say. Bit what I DO know is that my DP does check in with me to make sure it's all ok and consensual. As in, I'm fully conscious and present.
I think that might be close to normal. As a PP said, but paraphrasing, can you stop what's happening without fear of ANY kind of negative repercussion?.
And lovely, it's not normal behaviour for a partner to carry on when the other has stopped responding.
One way to get around this is to ground our trauma on the conscious. Aknowlefge it and reference it hit without another sexual or emotional partner with us.
I hope this helps I feel for you. But no, this isnt normal.