When do you know a relationship is over?

[Diabeto]

Name changed as I don’t want this attached to my usual.

So me and my partner have been together 4 years, I’m not sure how I feel about things anymore.

I can’t tell if I like him most of the time never mind love but then some times I get struck with that feeling of pure affection.
I stayed with my ex way longer than I should have purely because I didn’t want to regret leaving and when I did leave I really didn’t regret it at all.

If I end it with DP I’m scared I’ll be breaking up a family over be just being hormonal and uninterested. I’m scared I’ll regret it. I just don’t know when you finally KNOW it’s over, or is it just a leap of faith?

I always find that I know it's the end when the relationship tips over the balance, that you feel unhappy in their company more than you feel happy and you start looking for a way out.

Some days I’m so unhappy to be around him, I don’t like him kissing me, don’t want him touching me and it’s so strong and then others I’m happy he’s around. It’s proper confusing me and I don’t know if I’m better to seek counselling before ending it in case it’s just depression related (as I’ve been off my meds for a year)

I'd say if you're that unsure, definitely look in to counselling. Would your dp go with you? Surely they can't be riding a rainbow of happiness if you're feeling this way?

When you say break up a family, do you have dc? That always makes things so much more complicated because you feel like you should try to please everyone. But really children are much happier when their parents are happy, even if that means they're not together.

What are some of his good points?

Ask yourself
Does he make me more unhappy than happy?
Then you have your answer
Your gut instinct will guide you

We have a one year old and when we are together just us things seem to be ok but when DD is around I don’t seem to have time or patience for him.
I get angry if he doesn’t offer to help quickly enough, find him very lazy. I have to ask for help with everything, he’s quiet and doesn’t talk much but watches videos so loud I’m tempted to destroy his phone on occasion.

But.. he’s kind and caring. Always makes me feel good about myself, is fantastic with DD and she adores him. Wants me and DD to have things we want and need.

He knows how I’ve been feeling as I don’t hide it well and he’s told me he will go if I want him too but he’s not going anywhere till I tell him too cause he loves me and is happy with us.
Which is sweet but extra pressure cause it puts a break up all on me.

I don’t know, I think I’ll speak to a counsellor first.

How well do you communicate with each other?

Are you tired or feeling rundown in yourself? Do yo have any hours in the day to just be you?

We communicate not bad, I don’t have any time to myself I have DD all day on my days off and work part time 3 days a week which is the break away I get.

I’m not very good medically, getting checks for autoimmune disorders at the moment, does that affect things?

I stayed with my exdp and father of my 2 DC because I didn't want to cause a disturbance to our family unit rather than be honest with myself. I knew our relationship was over when I just no longer wanted to be around him. Everything he did annoyed me and I was fantasizing about just telling him things were over. Another reason I knew was when I bumped into a woman he had an affair with many moons ago and didn't feel any anger towards her anymore. So I guess for me I definitely knew in my heart that his relationship was dead. If you're still unsure then are there things you could possibly do to improve your relationship?

Everything is still up in the air with a 1 year old. From your post you sound quite up and down.
As you've asked I'd suggest staying for longer, tell him what bothers you and maybe get counselling?
My husband and I went through some very bad patches when both dc were born for about 18 months. I'm very glad we rode it out but everyone is different of course.

I think if you're feeling low and rubbish atm it can affect how you see things.

However only you know yourself if you're happy enough to continue wavering! When do you have these thoughts?

Sending you lots of support! The mind is a powerful and strange thing!

I do fantasise about just being a single mum but totally my emotions about it are all over the place and I can’t seem to settle on one thing.

He does seem to annoy me more than not though.

I know this is mega old but any chance of knowing what happened? I’m feeling the same rn with a 10 month old.

My daughter is being tested for autoimmune disease currently. I watch her suffer from emotional outbursts and she can be all over the place with it. She struggles at times with anger issues too. Apparently this is quite common with autoimmune diseases which haven't been treated yet. Can you try and hang on for a bit until things have been diagnosed and treated, it might help you deal with the way you feel and your marriage. My daughter is having tons of blood tests, MRIs, scans etc etc so understand how you must be feeling. Speak to your husband again and mention everything about auto immune diseases and how it can trigger emotional outbursts. I have seen it with my daughter and we are fully aware that this is the undiagnosed disease rather than her.

Sorry to jump on board but I’ve read these comments and wondering how it is going too? I’ve been feeling this way since DD (3 now) we’ve been together since 14 years old now in mid 20s. There’s nothing emotionally for me at the moment he does his own thing I do mine. But I hate being touched, asked to do things and hardly any help with DD as he says he’s the bread winner and doesn’t need to do much! I’m ready to walk but don’t know what to say as we do get along 😩 in my eyes I’m pretty much a single parent and see him as a friend then partner but scared to ruin everything?