What can I do?

[ladygoingGaga]

My DD is in a long term relationship with her GF been living together for 2 years in a rented flat.
The relationship has been up and down last six months, DD has come home twice saying she wants to end the relationship and has described control and coercion. Me and DH have been supportive and tried not to judge appreciating we only hear one side.
However, this week after she came home after saying she had enough again we were expecting her to end the relationship after she spent weekend saying she wanted to, she has just text us a photo and declared they are getting a puppy

My instinct is that this is totally wrong timing for loads of reasons and the puppy will be used as emotional blackmail of reasons she can’t now leave the relationship.

She has text me, saying she can’t talk now (red flag) but wants to to see what i think tomorrow.

Torn between being honest, and not.

Any advice?

Difficult to advise with such limited information. What kind of behaviour is she describing? What have you observed?

How old is your DD? Introducing a puppy into the fold is a terrible idea!

Be honest but stick the facts, 'it's not a good idea because....'. As hard as it is, don't be tempted to comment on her relationship in terms of how unstable and unhealthy it is as she likely won't appreciate it (the truth hurts) and it could make her push back.

It's a tough situation as it's clear from the outside looking in that it's a mistake but she likely won't see that from the inside x

Sulking and ignoring her when she goes out with her friends.
Jealous when she comes to see friends and family
Screams and shouts at her when she ignores her wishes
Asks her where she has been, talking to continually

DD is 23

Read this:

www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/im-worried-about-someone-else/

I honestly don't know why you're trying to be "two sides to every story" about your own child confiding in you about experiencing domestic abuse.

There's little you can do unless there are children. She has to come to her own realisation that she's in an abusive relationship. It's very frustrating but if you say anything against her partner, you may inadvertently create an us against them scenario.

There's an organisation called Galop and you can contact them for more advice and information. There's also the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for support: 0808 2000 247 I would keep the information handy, perhaps put them in your phone, should she need them.

Support her, let her know she can come home at any time and that you're always there for her.