Do I have low self esteem???

[Shazza46]

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 5 years now and are hoping to get married.. I’m 46.
I’m always been a happy confident person but I don’t know if I’m being too sensitive over this issue. My boyfriend has sometimes mentioned that my two front teeth are not perfectly aligned? One slightly crosses over.. it’s never bothered me before and the dentist has never mentioned it. Apart from that my teeth (I feel) are perfect never had to worry about them. I’m having them whitened now and my boyfriend has noticed that after the first day of using the nighttime trays my teeth are slightly whiter this morning... then he had to spoil it by saying that “it’s only the front part of your teeth need straightening..” when I asked him why he keeps mentioning it he said he can ?? Why shouldn’t he? And do I have low self esteem cos it bothers me? I said no I don’t have any issue about that aspect of my teeth.. never have done. But it made me kinda self conscious ? He’s said it at least a few times a year? Like get the message? Why keep mentioning it? Do I have low self esteem or do you think he has given me this low self esteem? Thanks guys but it’s really bothering me ...

Hmmm. That kinda sounds like he's negging you.
www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/negging

Doesn't sound to me like your self esteem is low, otherwise you'd be thinking "oh shit, my teeth are hideout crooked, he's the only person who loves me enough to tell me what everyone must be thinking"

I wonder why it bothers him? Are his teeth perfect or something?

Many moons ago, I had wonky bottom teeth, so had one removed and had a brace put in. I now have very straight bottom teeth (with a retainer) but a whole host of problems with my gums.

I really wish I had just left well alone tbh. If you have good teeth - don't mess with them. Certainly not for someone else! I have only myself to 'blame' well perhaps maybe the dentist ...

no, if you had low self esteem you'd be really unhappy smiling in public, avoiding photos and you'd probably have got them straightened by now.

in fact you probably have good self esteem because they don't bother you!

Your Dp on the other hand, seems both massively bothered by them, and feels the need to put you down for them. Why? Have you asked him to stop? Could you say to him that it doesn't bother you, and it really doesn't work for you for him to keep mentioning it all the time.

Does he do it about other things too?

Thank you all who replied and reinforced my emotions that I'm not overreacting on this. And my self esteem is definately normal. No he doesn't have perfect teeth- in fact he has bad breath sometimes , but I never mentioned it. He has in the past asked me to put nail varnish on my toenails when my feet are on sandals.. like who is he comparing me to??? The only issue Iv ever had is my nose .. and he has mentioned that too a few times! My self esteem has been affected since I have been seeing him. Thing is he compliments me a lot too?? If I tell him why he always mentions my teeth he says I have low self esteem that's why it bothers me! So honestly I can't win can I?!

The tooth the opposite mate, he's trying to make you feel more shit than you know you are. Ignore it, try not to take in those messages, and dump him. These are not the words of a lover or a friend.

Going after bits of the body you are sensitive about is even worse.

I suppose he can't do this stuff all the time, or you'd dump him. But he shouldn't be doing it at all. xx

This man is awful. He is actually abusing you. Giving you compliments sometimes (to keep your interest) but then knocking you down every now and then too so as you're confidence starts to fall.
I'm sure there is a word for it. But I would definitely be questioning your future.

He sounds horrible, please don't marry him.