Sick to death of Husbands moods.

[ButterflyKissesx]

Does anyone elses husband's act like this?

He works long hours in the week and on Saturdays at the moment as he is self employed. However, whenever he's home at the weekend he is so moody!

You know when you can just tell someone is annoyed with you but they say they aren't? He barely speaks, will grumble that there's nothing to do, he's bored etc... Like a child. Won't have a laugh with me and the kids, just sit there with a face on him all day.

In the week he's completely different. But at the weekend he just picks at everything and gets in a mood over nothing. This morning he was in a mood because I didn't make a cup of tea for him when I got up because I nipped to the shop instead to get stuff for breakfast... Apparently he's worked all week and yesterday so the least I could do is just make a brew for him. He's now been in a huff all day because of it.

Honestly I'm so sick of it. I work 9-5 myself Monday to Friday. I help him as much as possible with his business. I do everything at home, cook, wash up, wash clothes, take kids to school, make lunches etc... But he still thinks he's hard done to because he works longer hours.

In the week he's fine but there's something about weekends that just make him horrible to be around. I'm getting fed up now of trying to make it a happy environment for the kids so they don't see it and making excuses for him being a pathetic child.

Ugh.
What a big baby he is.
Show him this thread.

Does he have any meaningful interactions with your dc?

Do you know how the business is going? Could he be worried or stressed about debts or lack of profit? When I'm anxious about something like that my instinct is to protect my loved ones from the information, but then I get snappy and moody.

So tell him he needn't be bored, there's a long list of stuff for him to get on with..............washing, ironing, shopping, cooking, cleaning........blah

Some people are happiest when they are busy, so keep him busy !

Sounds like he needs to find a healthy way to unwind, to recharge before he can get up and enjoy himself with you and the kids. However, he says he's bored. Does this mean that he has no enthusiasm to get up and do something? That when he does do stuff, it's unsatisfying? If so, that sounds like being depressed to me.

DH used to take out his bad moods on me when we first met. After a few huffy episodes as you describe we had a massive showdown - I told him that I didn't care if he was in a bad mood, got up on the wrong side of the bed, whatever - he cannot take it out on people around him. If I had done something, then fine, you tell me what you think I've done and we thrash it out right now. If not, take responsibility for your moods and sort yourself out because you cannot take it out on people around you who haven't done anything.

When I met the rest of his family, I understood why he huffed and sulked - it's how they all behaved with each other. Whereas in my family you sort it out as soon as there is an issue - pipe up, put up or shut up. Even people who are depressed have to take responsibility for getting help and support or nothing will change.

I have absolutely zero tolerance for sulking, I see it as a serious lapse in a person's communication skills. I also think families should treat each other as well or better than they would a random person in the street - not worse.

You both work FT, I would be expecting him to pick up half the childcare and housework.

I recognise he works Saturdays too, but he's self-employed, so that's a choice he's making. If he needs to work Saturdays because of the nature of his work, can't he take a different day off during the week?

His choice to work 6 days a week shouldn't mean he dumps his share of all housework/childcare. Did he ever ask you if you'd be willing?

Sorry, I realise that's not what you asked. But he has a mood on at weekends and wants you to run around after him, after you've worked all week too, and done all his housework and childcare?!

So if you fail in your duties as his skivvy you're punished, basically?

Have you considered what it teaches the children when you make excuses for his horrible behaviour?

You failed as his slave and must be punished with sulking and strops.
Your husband is a sexist pig.
Stop doing everything! You’re not his bloody staff.

It's not that he sulks because I've not done my duties. Like he's not sulking because I don't wash up or the house is a mess for example. But on weekends its like he looks for reasons to justify his mood iyswim. So yesterday the tea thing was what he clung to (as stupid as that is).

I know that he's not actually in a mood with me/the kids, he's stressed about work and tired BUT that obviously is not a good enough excuse.

He's particularly bad at the moment as he is working all the time due to the tax at the end of Jan so I know he's stressed but yes, this weekend moods thing has always been a problem to differing degrees. It's like he's grumpy because he's wasting time doing 'nothing' when he's got so much work to do so takes it out on us.

The house work stuff definitely needs to be more even I agree but I don't feel like he'd be angry at me for not doing it, he just wouldn't think to do it himself so I do. Usually by the time he's home, everythings been done anyway.

His behaviour is not okay. I do have a TINY bit of sympathy for him overall because I run my own business and am also very involved with kids and family etc - it's the great benefit of being self employed of course. But it does mean that even after nearly 10 years of parenting, I still sometimes get resentful on Saturday mornings when all I want to do is veg out. I just want to sleep in, then drink tea, read/watch shitty TV etc. And of course, I can't. Because that's not how life works anymore.

So I have to work really hard not to be bad tempered on a Saturday. And the fact that I have to work hard to do that really pisses me off too because I am FULLY aware it's immature and ridiculous to still be harking back to the "old days". In my defence, I think there's also an element of tiredness - I work hard all day so Saturday feels like it should be the day I can properly rejuvenate, but it can be hard.

Having said all that - the point is that I KNOW I am the unreasonable one and I do everything in my power to mitigate and avoid it. DH also helps by sometimes suggesting that I head to the gym (Spa) for a few hours on a Saturday (I give him similar breaks at other times) or whatever.

Incidentally, one weird thing I've found (very unlikely to be relevant for you but I mention it anyway) is that while I can drink a glass or two of wine any other day of the week with no ill effects, if I drink more than one very small glass on a Friday, my Saturday bad mood is worse. I honestly cannot work out why but I've had to accept it as true.