Really struggling with feeling I don’t want to be with my husband anymore, though feeling I should stay, partly for the children’s sake and partly because he’s not doing anything that bad, and he is very commendable in terms of commitment to his family, doing his fair share etc. The problem is that he is so stressed, anxious and tense that we can’t enjoy family life, and while I want to support him and have asked him what he feels he might need, or what help he could seek, he is unable to reflect on his internal state and absolutely denies anxiety, and just gets angry with me. I think he might be a bit autistic (there are a few traits), though he would never want to explore that. Having children seems to be very stressful and anxiety provoking for him. Kids are young (5, 2), and it is an intense phase of life, for sure, but he gets so tense when all four of us are together that weekends are always spent with us dividing into two pairs with the kids and doing separate activities. Holidays are impossible as he hates them and gets extremely tense, being out of our usual routines and away from usual resources with kids, even a low key UK holiday In summer by the beach he couldn’t cope with. I have tried talking to him about how I feel but he just gets very angry and defensive even if I try to be gentle and frame it in terms of what might help. Communication is generally impossible, he cannot consider any other point of view. He would never consider counselling for himself but we are starting at Relate this week. I’m not feeling hopeful because his thinking is so rigid. I fantasise about being apart a lot, and find taking care of the kids by myself a lot easier. However, there’d be all the pain of shared custody etc. And I want what’s best for the children, whatever that is.