Second date or not?

[Fedup99990]

Had a first date a few weeks ago. Went well. He was due to move out of the family home imminently, his wife is still there , he says separate rooms. Now there are apparently no suitable houses do the move is delayed. I’m due to go on a second date with his soon and he’s bought tickets for a day out which won’t be refundable. I’m now having second thoughts about seeing someone so early on in his separation. He doesn’t text as much as most do but is often on WhatsApp late - not to me.
Any thoughts?!

If the day trip was something I wanted to do I'd go then end it. If it was something I wasn't bothered about I'd end it to give him time to find someone else to go with.

If the venue is far away from where he lives it's a bit suspicious.

Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me.

At 'best' he's still very much married and at worst he's on the rebound. Why would you want a relationship with someone who's tied to someone else?

Thank for the replies.
Yes, In hindsight I’m not sure why I agreed to go out with him as my divorce is long over and prefer to date those in a similar position.
I feel guilty that he’s spent money on something thought.

There's no need to feel guilty it's his choice to date while he's still living with his wife.

Yes, that’s true! But it was my choice to agree to go..

How long is it since his marriage ended? I know some people can be stuck living together for ages, but rarely for years. Has he made any progress towards divorcing?

I don’t think I could have a relationship with someone who had only just split up with a spouse or long term partner. The potential for an emotional rollercoaster is just too high for me. It’s a shame to leave him out of pocket but actually you really don’t owe him anything.

He's chatting to others and enjoying playing the field, which you can do too as single. If you want to go on the event go, but he's probably in the up for fun category.

He said they agreed to separate about a year ago. It does seem that he is chatting to others given the times he’s on WhatsApp. I know that happens and I e chatted to more than one guy at once. I’m more concerned that we’re at such different stages..

I wouldn't use all my spare time on him, but if you both like the same activities you could go for the fun of it. I doubt he would want anything serious - and you're looking for serious?

I’m not looking for anything like marriage but someone to see quite regularly who isn’t seeing anyone else!

I very much doubt his wife is aware they’ve split up.

I agree - it's very, very unlikely his wife knows she's separated. So does this guy stay over at women's houses? Presumably he doesn't take them home!

Your first date was a few weeks ago? What stopped you both meeting up between then and now?

You are also allowed to change your mind. A message saying that you are not comfortable with his still sharing a house with his wife and wish him luck.

Nothing stopped us meeting up before really - neither of us suggested it!

Yes, think I might just text him and say I’m not comfortable with the situation..

I don’t think you can infer anything from the times he’s on WhatsApp. Maybe he is seeing others but don’t assume that just cos he’s on WhatsApp at certain times...