My marriage is ending today....

[Glitterkitten24]

Things have been strained for a while. He’s depressed and has been prescribed ADs, but takes them intermittently because they cause ED, this no sex or intimacy in over a month. Has stopped taking ADs consistently recently.

He just criticises me all the time. He moans at the kids and is snappy and unfair to them. He could start an arguement in an empty house, but turns it round to say that I am moany, or my face is tripping me, even when I am feeling ok.
He calls me disrespectful names in front of my children.

I know that he’s sick, but I’m just...done.
Today me and the kids spent most of the day alone together and the weight off my shoulders of being able to talk the kids without him criticising or being negative, or telling me I’m wrong was immense. I felLt so free.

I don’t even know why I’m posting.
I feel done with our relationship, but guilty that he’s sick and I am considering leaving.
And terrified that I’ll scar the kids for life if I chose a life as a single parent. Oh god, a single parent, I can’t even think about doing it alone.

Hey op, my DH is similar...I’ve currently got a thread running about an emergency bag, the final straw for me has been the increase in alcohol consumption.
The ADs thing is so frustrating isn’t it? Mine likes to take his intermittently too .

It’s okay to leave, I am planning to do the same thing. It’s not that he’s sick that your leaving-it’s that he chooses not to medicate for his sickness.

OP - I am sorry and you seem in a hard place and unsure.
First - if you went it alone - you will be OK. Kids will adjust.
As to scarring the kids for life - the sort of relationship you are describing is scarring them already.

However - I don’t think you are completely sure as to what you want to do.
Have you tried giving him an ultimatum and asking him to do, say, counselling together? Or has he tried different AD? There are a few classes and not all of them cause ED.

Before you go the nuclear option - you can try to see if anything can be done

What a shit situation. Just so u know, u wouldnt be destroying ur kids if u chose to end it. Literally, done with a bit of tact , ur kids will be 100% fine. Also, u will manage. Things economically and logistically might be more difficult to navigate to begin with but im telling you,you u will manage just fine and will probably find that u find happiness in completely different things afterwards. So if u choose to finish the relationship, u will all be ok no matter how scary it might feel now. Now, on the other hand... men sometimes need to be pushed between a rock and a a hard place to give them the wake up call they need. An ultimatum could come in useful as life's not happy as it is, you wouldnt be losing much. U cant help him if he doesnt help himself. And there has to be a point where he has to realise his behaviour is not acceptable anymore. Regardless of anything , you will get the best outcome. If he is not willing to own up and learn new things and change ...he is not the man you want to be around long term, if he realises and starts takin small steps forward and addressing his issues... maybe it will work out with him. Set your boundaries and move forward with them. Your marriage is going through some hard times, but u could well overcome them. Strength to you!

I’m sorry he’s depressed, but he has no right to take it out on you and the children. You have put up with a lot.

Why not give him a choice? He can go to counselling (I’ve found cognitive behavioural therapy helpful) and show that he’s making a serious effort. Or he can refuse, and your relationship is over.

Being rude to you or moaning at the kids are not included in his choices. That has to stop if he wants even a chance of continuing your relationship.

I do hope things go well for you, OP. Being a single parent is better than living with someone who makes your and your DC’s lives a misery.

Hello Glitter-how are things today?

Sounds miserable for you and the kids. Yes, I'd leave in this situ.