I feel stuck

[April45]

I'm feeling so stuck. My DH is very difficult to live with atm and we're drifting apart. I'm trying to suggest date nights and special time together as a family to try to get back on track but he's not interested and would rather stay in. He can be argumentative too, not all the time but it happens regularly.
I feel partly to blame, my focus has been more on DS since he arrived 3 years ago.
Does this get better? I feel like our marriage is fizzling out, I'd never leave as wouldn't want DS to live between 2 homes.

If you’re not happy you’d be better to leave now than wait years till your son is older. The older children are the worse the impact is.

Are you planning to live in a dead unhappy marriage for another 20 or so years? Forever?

'He can be argumentative too,'

@April45 So sorry you're in this situation. What sort of thing does he do/say? :(

'I feel partly to blame, my focus has been more on DS since he arrived 3 years ago.'

Oh noes, a parent focusing primarily on their child. What a crime! Try not to blame yourself- he could've been focused on being a dad too. But no, he's pissed off if he's not the centre of attention at all times.

It's better to leave from the bairns point of view as early as possible OP. They're young enough to adapt.

Nothing terrible in the argumentative stuff just snappy (Nothing abusive).

I just wish he'd put the effort in to try and make things better

If he doesn’t want to try then I’m sorry but he’s checked out and there’s nothing that can be done. I’d sit down with him and let him know how serious it is - if he still won’t try then consider your options for leaving

I think what you are doing isn’t working so stop asking him to do something with you. Focus less on him and what he is doing/not doing and more on yourself, be busy and happy. Surely he will notice the change and come running back. Then if there is something in a few weeks time you fancy doing ask him if he wants to go with you and if not go with a friend instead.