Why would a therapist...

[Elsiewhere]

Be significantly cheaper than other therapists when they have plenty of business?

Encourage you to become dependent on them in the first instance by offering support and communication inbetween sessions? Then after a year or 2, stop responding as often?

Offer free sessions when you are earning very little money?

Tell someone they are not yet strong enough to leave a current relationship that is making them unhappy?

Encourage someone to stay in a relationship where the other person has expressed uncertainty? Only for the other person to leave the relationship further down the line?

Tell you that leaving may be worse than staying and to imagine that leaving would be worse (based on the fact that ex may not help with the DCs as her experience with other women who have left their partners in the past.)

Be all of this and then imply that you are becoming too dependent on them?

Are they registered? Are they qualified? Do they work from home? What type of therapist are they? Are they actually therapists or just someone that's sone a 5 minute course and thinks they have talent? More details needed

They have done accredited courses in coaching and CBT.
Has an office, but works independently.
Not registered.

It's easier to be busy when you are cheaper, obviously.

Offering free sessions isn't professional unless it's through some kind of charity.

It's not great for a therapist to be really busy because they need time for reflection between clients.

It suits them to keep you there and paying if they aren't acting in good faith.

These are all the things you are thinking OP. It sounds like you should find another therapist.

The course was accredited by which body?

If they’re an actual trained CBT therapist they’ll appear on the BABCP register which you can search yourself right now.

Anyone can do a two hour online course that’s ‘accredited’, the term means nothing if the accrediting body isn’t robust and well respected and audited. For some context, to become a qualified CBT therapist is a year postgrad at a bricks and mortar university, on top of either a psychology degree or a prior profession in social work or nursing.

Sadly many people are gullible and see the word accredited and assume it means something. It doesn’t. If CBT is their alleged modality and they’re not registered move on: they’re a charlatan.

Oh and to answer your questions: because they’re not professionally trained or monitored or held to account in the way that qualified therapists are. You’re putting your life in the hands of someone no more qualified to support you than the guy on the tills at Asda. Which is your choice if you wish to do so, but then you can’t be surprised as an unethical shoddy ‘service’. Pay peanuts, get monkeys...

Sorry you didn't have a good experience. :( xxx

'If they’re an actual trained CBT therapist they’ll appear on the BABCP register which you can search yourself right now.'

@everybodyneedsomebody Therapists aren't automatically signed up to the BACP if they do a qualification etc, they have to pay £100 or something to join, and sign a code of conduct.

@Elsiewhere Therapists don't have to be registered to practice, some of them probably don't for financial reasons. They can also be in a different organisation than the BACP- some choose to due in part to the amount of money it costs to join the BACP, or seeing it as a bit of a money-making scheme.

'Be significantly cheaper than other therapists when they have plenty of business?'

Some see it as ethical to not charge too much, so more people can access therapy.

'Encourage you to become dependent on them in the first instance by offering support and communication inbetween sessions? Then after a year or 2, stop responding as often?'

They would perhaps see it as offering you support, rather than encouraging you to be dependent. Did they sign a written agreement offering to give you a particular amount/time commitment of support? Therapists can be a bit crap, or not like someone (which is unpleasant, but they're human and can choose who they're happy to work with, and how much contact they're prepared to give them out of hours (unless they've signed up to a particular amount. Even then, they can change their mind.)

'Offer free sessions when you are earning very little money?'

Some would see this as a good thing/nice gesture implying they want to help people and are motivated by that.

'Tell someone they are not yet strong enough to leave a current relationship that is making them unhappy? Encourage someone to stay in a relationship where the other person has expressed uncertainty? Only for the other person to leave the relationship further down the line?'

The therapist can't always predict the future, that the other person will leave etc. They're only human.

'Tell you that leaving may be worse than staying and to imagine that leaving would be worse (based on the fact that ex may not help with the DCs as her experience with other women who have left their partners in the past.)'

So, she was going on her own experience of clients/friends etc. That's a lot of what someone would base their advice on, as they want you to act based on how they think things will pan out.

'Be all of this and then imply that you are becoming too dependent on them?'

They can have an opinion, you can think they're wrong, but unfortunately they don't have to work with you.

Any of them can say any old shit at the end of the day, based on their opinions, which they can probably find some way to justify. You could report them if you think they somehow violated a Code of Conduct- they'll probably have to be in a professional body for you to have someone to report them to. Even if they were in an org, I don't think any of this would technically break a code of conduct.

I'm not saying any of this is good or pleasant- but it's just the way it goes.

You could see another therapist- it can take trial and error to find one that suits you.

I had one stop seeing me once as I think she found my issues annoying lol- I found another one that I was far more impressed with. It's well worth a go.

Coaching is not counselling, nor psychotherapy. A psychotherapist does not encourage anyone to do or not do anything, they create a space for the person to come to a decision themselves.
Communication between sessions is heavily discouraged as it messes with the boundaries.
The counsellor is not your friend, they are a supportive other person in your life who does not need you to be their friend and does not need you to like them.
If your therapist starts needing you then thats not good!

A lower fee might be offered later on if the person has been in therapy a while and lost their job or something. No one offers free sessions unless they are getting payment from an organisation to see people, or is a student in training. If they are a student they will tell you that.

Do they have a core mental health profession? I doubt they have a true and full CBT diploma without one...

I wouldn't class this person as a therapist. To be an actual psychotherapist or similar you need a lot of training and to be registered etc.

This person sounds like they have done a couple of courses and are calling themself a therapist - in itself a signal to me to avoid them like the plague. The rest that you describe could be malicious but seems more likely to be they are totally out of their depth and don't know what they are doing.

Like others have said - counselling, coaching and so on is NOT therapy, and I wouldn't find it useful for anything other than short-term life-discussion things that are not particularly 'deep.'

Lower fees however on their own don't necessarily mean anything bad. There are some affordable therapy services around, and some therapists are able to offer a limited number of discounted spaces to help those who can't afford high fees.

There are a lot of bad therapists out there....and a lot of good ones too. I've had a lot of therapy, and 3 of the people I worked with were really unprofessional. One was just crap, 2 clearly had their own serious MH problems. The rest have been excellent.

'A psychotherapist does not encourage anyone to do or not do anything, they create a space for the person to come to a decision themselves.''

@Seaweed42 It partly depends on the branch of therapy. A lot of therapists are more directive these days. I had one give me both general and specific advice on interactions with other people, which was good advice and very helpful to me in friendships and relationships.

'Communication between sessions is heavily discouraged as it messes with the boundaries.'

It varies. I've known some that have clients pay a fee to be able to have advice from them in between sessions, and also some that offered phone support. What they offer might depnd on the client- for instance, if the client's issues may make them contact the therapist excessively, they will tell them what amount of contact is permitted.

'Do they have a core mental health profession? I doubt they have a true and full CBT diploma without one...'

@gypsywater If they're already in private practice as a therapist, I imagine some institutions will let them on. They can also do the course via blended learning/ an online 'diploma mill,' in which case the requirements to get on are probably more relaxed. People can also practice CBT without a post graduate diploma- they might have a level 3 diploma, or whatever, which can require no background in the subject except personal interest.

No extra fees for communication between sessions. All free.

I just wondered if some personality types enjoy others becoming dependent on them and pull away when they become so.

I was initially told to call/text/email at any time between sessions should I be struggling,at no extra cost.

Being vulnerable at the time, this is what I did and when I became quite dependent, it was implied that I had started depending too much. Yet I was invited to do this from the outset.

I just wondered if some personality types enjoy others becoming dependent on them and pull away when they become so

Definitely. I know a couple of social workers who are like that.

I wonder if there's a name for it. I've met teachers like this also.

And managers.

Usually contact between sessions would be short messages or calls when client is really struggling. How much were you relying on this extra service?

It varied. At the worst times 2-3 times between fortnightly sessions. Other times, not at all between monthly sessions.

My experience is that there are good therapists and bad therapists. There are certainly people in it because it fulfills a need in them and they have their own issues. I had a properly accredited therapist who was very unprofessional.

I'm not saying that this isn't how you perceived and understood the situation, but clients can interpret the actions of a therapist in their own way.

I'm sure your therapist would have a very different version of events from their POV.

Some therapists have a number of free slots. Their fees may be based on a sliding scale according to earnings as well.

They may see a client as needing support and say if they are having thoughts of serious harm or suicide they can contact them out of hours.

It also depends on whether they are self employed or with an agency.... some agencies offer a certain amount of sessions or offer counselling for a certain period of time.

Ultimately, the counsellor did the right thing in ending the sessions if they felt there was too much dependency. It was in your best interests to end the therapy.

Of course he/she may have just been unprofessional and lacking in boundaries.

Are these sessions done in a place of religion?

Yes they are

I thought so.

The majority of these religious sessions advise you to do what is more suited to the religion and the community, not what is best for you.

I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience, sounds like extremely unethical practice to me. How very confusing for you. Please look at therapists that are fully qualified and registered ideally my advice is to search on the UKCP website where you need to be very well trained and follow strict code of ethics and attend regular supervision which is imperative to good practice. Really hope you move on to find someone who can actually call themselves a therapist- so awful that there are people who can present themselves as one in this way.

There is a little bit of misinformation on this thread.

To clarify, in the UK it is not mandatory to be a member of a the BACP or the UKCP in order to practise as a counsellor, coach, therapist, psychotherapist. I don't say this is right or wrong but just the facts.

The title 'psychotherapist' is a protected title in the same way 'psychologist' is. Anyone can call themselves anything.

A course can be called 'accredited' but its more important to check who they are accredited by. For example, a training accredited by the BACP will have to fulfil certain requirements.

A 'counsellor' can provide therapy .

When you join the BACP, you don't sign a code of conduct as such, but more agree to abide by the Ethical framework as set out by the BACP.

A member of the BACP who is on their register agrees to fulfil the requirement to undertake regular supervision.

I can't really comment on what the therapist said as I wasnt there in the room. But it sounds from what you are saying that you feel that you received mixed messages and dubious advice and that you are questioning their practises?

As other posters have said, have you thought about seeing a different therapist.