Hello all,
I am hoping for a little perspective perhaps a bit of a 'head wobble'. I am a first time poster, thought I've been a lurker for a while now.
A bit of background: My DP and I have been together since May 17, owing to a Mirena coil failure we have a 22 month old son. We are not married, he owns the house that we live in and I provide all the childcare owing to a demanding shift pattern for him. I therefore am self employed earning a low income that just about supports me. He also gives me a couple hundred every month so 'near enough a good guy' despite me being in a stupidly risky position. We are in our 30s.
When we got together I was unaware that he was actually still in a relationship with his now ex (L). In fact I only found out from the neighbour because as my pregnancy progressed it was a 'one in, one out and this ones pregnant' scenario. In effect I was the OW. I was gutted. Whilst I'd never seen her previously, she'd been staying in the spare room under the impression it was a bad patch they'd work through together. During the explosions of emotion that followed I found out that this wasn't a one of off for my now 'DP'. He had in-fact cheated on a previous girlfriend (Ex D) and left her for her close friend (Ex L).
After months of discussions we decided to maintain this relationship for the sake of our unborn child and everything was just about ok. Until now.
DP has always remained friendly with exes, they'd usually pop up around birthdays for a catch up and well wishes and I'd not hear about it again for another year. I felt this was weird, didn't understand it but ok it's a ' happy birthday what have you been up to' type thing.
EX D is now going through a divorce and dealing with treatment/surgeries related to the BRCA gene. She seems to have turned to my DP as a confidante. She is seeing someone and they regularly talk about her sex life, our sex life and recently the arguments that have stemmed from this new closer friendship. He feels it appropriate to text her from our bed and when I bought this up he decided that the best resolution to this problem was just to stay up late to text her instead.
Accordingly to him this is a platonic friendship and I am being unreasonable. The most recent discussions over massage complete with happy ending aren't sexual (he's adamant) and essentially I am batshit.
Am I? Is this kind of thing something you accept in supposedly commuted relationships?