I’ve been on and off with my ex boyfriend for a year. In the start he was hellbent on getting me, from the moment I finally gave in and engaged with him, I was forever getting expensive Pjs, flowers and attention lavished my way a crazy amount I thought wow this is amazing, finally someone who appreciates me. After a month that all stopped suddenly I wasn’t getting anything and even if I asked him what he was planning to get me for birthdays or Christmas he would say “nothing I don’t even get my girl mates anything and they’ve been in my life longer than you” the phone calls stopped and he just stopped speaking to me when I queried why he was acting different he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore.. when I asked why and began to voice my emotions he ignored me and then blocked me from contacting him. He still kept me on other forms of social media, I was so bewildered at the bizarre change from black to white and I had no insight on narcissism and only one other relationship experience prior, I contacted him a few days later to ask if I could come and see him to talk, he agreed when I arrived at his, he was more interested in his phone and was telling me about girls messaging him I ignored him and he went to a new extreme saying he had a new girlfriend, when I asked questions about his new girlfriend the story had so many holes (one minute he was with her, the next minute they wasn’t official yet and had made a special date and time when they would be official) I was to embarrassed to even address the obvious lie. he kept talking about it and was looking at me sneering to see how I would react.
A few days later I got an angry message from him because he had heard through the grape vine my cousin knew we was speaking again, when I got back to him we got in to an argument and over message I exposed his lie about having a girlfriend and stuck up for myself, I was blocked on that form of social media but still kept on others. We didn’t speak for a month and then I received a message from him telling me his nana had died, I completely put the argument to the side and sent him my best he carried on engaging with me and was looking for emotional support so I gave it him, he sent me the letter his nana had left him and I was sucked back in. Before his nanas funeral I went to see him (this is my last encounter with him where I have now come to the conclusion I’m dealing with a full blown narc) from the moment I walked into his, there was designer clothes everywhere, he didn’t even acknowledge me coming in and just was to busy taking pictures of his clothes, he then started telling me about all the clothes he’d brought and about the holidays he’s booked, when I questioned him about who he was going away with, he avoided it, I asked him a further 4 times before he said “my girlfriend” to which I said “you don’t have a girlfriend” he began to defend his story about how he did have a girlfriend and I began to tell him why I knew he didn’t.. straight away he got defensive and shouted “don’t come to my house and get annoyed with me because I told you I had a girlfriend ages ago” he went on to shout about my attitude and how I’m jealous, I ignored him and tried to lighten the situation, so I said ok I believe you and asked him further questions.
I decided to back track and ask him how long him and his girlfriend had been together and he said about 2 years to which I said you was with me 3 months ago for months so you’re telling me you had another girlfriend all along and he said yes but I told you from the start that I did, I couldn’t believe he was lieing so point blank to my face, before I could question this anymore (not even bringing up the last time we had spoke a month prior and he was saying they was only just making it official) he asked me why I made one of my friends delete him of social media to which I said I didn’t make her delete you she deleted you herself because she doesn’t like you he got angry and shouted “my girlfriend is beautiful what are you on about” the outburst caught me by so much surprise I said “what no ones talking about that” he then said “I don’t care when daft girls delete me of social media because I always have her to go back to” he started speaking about his pretend girlfriend again about how perfect she is for him, about how all his friends love her, she’s so good to him, I got up and said well I’m going then.
He spat in to a rage again and shouted “do you think I’m arsed if you go that is a minor to me, have you seen my social media accounts I have so many girls messaging me, I don’t care about you” I sat back down and said “I know you don’t care about me your making it clear now” he began to talk about his pretend girlfriend again and how amazing she is and then said “I shouldn’t really be entertaining you because she is absolutely perfect, but so many girls message me and I only entertain you as my side piece so your very lucky” I was gobsmacked, I then queried him again on why he had said he had told me from the day he met me he told me he had a girlfriend and his was adamant he had to the point I said I still have the messages from our first ever talk I will get them up and I did and read them out he was so angry, but still insisted he had had another girlfriend all along so I began to ask him why he would approach me in the first place and do that to people like they’re worthless and he lost it he started screaming at me to get out of his house and I said no we are going to sit here and talk like adults you’re a liar, he started threatening to ring people and put the phone on loud speaker to embarrass me saying he was going to tell his mates that I won’t leave his house and laugh with them about me in front of them, I got up to go but carried on telling him I thought he was delusional with life and he jumped up and started throwing things, I left fast because I got scared, I have not spoke to him since and never will again, but this behaviour has left me baffled.
What are others thoughts? Does anyone else agree that he is a full blown delusional narcissist?