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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Parents unhappy in their marriage

1 reply

Claire926 · 24/01/2020 09:15

My parents have been married for a long time. Over the years I have noticed signs of them not getting on, which me and my sibling would talk about this in private. Recently my mum apparently told my sibling that she and my dad recently had a conversation which they agreed they were not suitable for each other but they will stay married as it is easier. I know I haven't actually heard it from them but my sibling would not lie. When I heard this it has affected me badly, I always knew deep down they had some issues but it is the fact they even know themselves. I'm quite a sensitive person so she would not tell me this. I just can't understand how people can go from starting married life to travelling, pursuing their goals and raising a family to becoming depressed, having mood swings and gaining weight. I know I cannot be held responsible for anyone's happiness and it is not my issue to deal with. I just feel sad that they are unhappy. My friend had the same happen with her parents and she was really upset at the time. I just wish I could go back to being oblivious to not knowing this information. Should I just ignore it and get on with my own life?

OP posts:
Orangeblossom78 · 24/01/2020 09:20

Hi, I kind of understand how your parents feel in a way, DH and I have been together for over 20 years and have two teens. It is not always easy having such a long term relationship and things do change over the years, also it can be an adjustment getting older etc. I guess the thing is they are talking about their differences and exploring how to make things work, which is better than just ignoring it..I guess what I am saying is it is up to them now to think about how it might work, how 'not suiting each other' might end up being acceptance of differences / exploring new hobbies for example. Oh, I'm not sure, I guess it depends what the differences are, maybe they can work through things.

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