Hey guys!
This is a bit awkward I don’t know where to start.... I don’t except sympathy or anything I just want to know wether anybody has felt like me before.
A bit of a background... went through a messy divorce( cheating, verbal abuse, neglect), ended up being a single parent for well over a year.
Finally got myself out there and met someone who I thought was a very good guy. One red flag tho he had a son that he never seen due to his ex not letting him. Long story short she threatened him, said he is never seeing the child. He admitted openly that he never tried to gain access, due to fear and just not knowing what was the right thing to do at the time so he left it. I didn’t jump right into relationship but we were friends first and then it developed, over the last 8 months he pretty much became part of my little family. He ‘loves’ (well he said so, but I’m not sure right now) my son as his own and we been extremely happy. I even started to think hey maybe there is some serious future with this guy. We always openly spoke about his son he doesn’t see, I did several times suggest he tries to gain access however he said it’s for the best he stays away even he wants to be involved in his life. I said I always support him if he gets to gain access at any point.
My family loves him and thinks the world of him which was hard to achieve after my ex husband. They don’t know about his son as I was afraid they wouldn’t accept him at all untill they got to know him if I told them. So there is always a fear from my side my parents would not accept him anymore if they found out, and I know that’s wrong of me not to tell them about i it.
And now the final, last night as in (1am to 5am) his ex, mother of his child rang him 14 times and texted 3 times saying they need to talk. As day went on he spoke to her and she all of a sudden after two years of no contact and denying him any access to the child, wants him to be involved. He jumped at the occasion straight away, arranged to see her and his son tonight after work before even speaking to me. Now I always promised I will support him, but I thought it won’t come on so sudden and be such a rush. I just can’t explain how I feel, cuz I know I sound heartless and selfish but I feel really hurt cuz of all this. I feel like we just gonna be tossed to a corner now as he got everything he has ever wanted which is his OWN (as he texted me today) son. And maybe I’m being horrible or getting it all wrong but I feel like it’s over and and he won’t care about us now. It’s just how quickly he arranged to see her (btw she lives about 2 hours drive away from where he lives). I’m just shocked and I don’t know why I feel hurt when I knew this day as gonna come sonner or later. Guys am I being horrible feeling like that? Did I make a mistake getting involved in his life in the first place? Has anyone been in similar situation and what were your feelings at that moment? I just don’t know how to feel atm, I’m really struggling and I’m not expecting sympathy and I know there will be people on here who would say I’m being horrible as he is doing the right thing but I just needed to get it out to someone as I got none to talk to about it.