We have recently had some bad news within my family in the fact that my dad has advanced prostate cancer BUT although it is advanced, hormone therapy and chemotherapy could work for 10 plus years. My brother and I have accepted this and look at the postitives. However my mum has gone into a deep depression which is not surprising. Nobody has ever suffered from mental health in our family before so this is a whole new ball game for us. My mum definitely has the upper hand in their relationship, sounds a little harsh but as a little girl she was spoilt rotten by her father to the detriment of her 4 siblings. She was from a wealthy family and was a beautiful child she was literally put on a pedastal her whole childhood. She was married twice before meeting and marrying my dad. Both these marriages (apparently as I wasn't born!!) broke down because they would not give in to her demands. My dad is still in awe of her now and he dotes on her, when we were kids anything she wanted to do or have he made it happen so now he is ill and she has no control she "can't just say please daddy or please xxxx i want to go to the maldives for 2 weeks" and it happens everything is out of her control. My poor dad is going through chemo and suffering but it seems to be making a difference as his psa level has dramatically decreased - this is a positive but she has suddenly decided he is now getting all the attention so she always has a splitting headache, her stomach doesn't feel right, she can't cook today as her eyes hurt, etc etc. She literally cries all day as she doesn't know how she will cope when he is gone. I grew up thinking she was this really strong independant women which she was she had a fab social circle and was always out with friends, had a good job in her later years and she certainly did not need a man. But now she has this deep cloud of depression because she has to put my dad first and honestly I don;' t think she has ever really had to put anyone else above her own needs as her own needs have always been met above and beyond what is really necessary. When we were kids she was really good to us but my dad would always make sure she was well looked after. This cloud of depression is not helping my dad and we really don't know how to help her. She keeps saying she won't be able to cope when he is gone and my dad is now worrying himself stupid that when he goes she will run off with any man who shows her a bit of attention. She refuses to go the GP or counselling as she can't see the problem. I just need her to put my dad first for a change but she cannot see it.!!