How to stop caring

[Reb4evaaa]

My ex left me after affair and the I’m not in love with you convo, then he wanted back, then he didnt, then he did, then he didn’t and then when I finally thought it was over he said he was confused and wanted couples counselling. Then he didn’t mention then he admitted he didn’t see us back together.
Now this week he’s been “off” with me and I know I shouldn’t care but I can’t stop worrying bout why he’s been off? He dropped kids off, didn’t hug like he usually does.
How do I get over this head fuck?? Feel like he’s still got such a hold over me and I hate it!! It was always me who tried to resolve stuff with him and that’s still how I feel, like I should txt him to see why he’s been off ? But I know I shouldn’t. It was only at weekend we both said we want to be amicable for the kids and also remain close (as we can be, in the circumstances ) and now this off behaviour. Feel like he’s making my head spin!! Just pick a way to behave and stick with it!!

Fake it till you make it is the best way imo. Stop texting him, stop trying to find out what's up with him, if you've done something wrong etc etc. Start going out with your friends, take up a hobby or do something different to keep you busy, force yourself to do these things and eventually something will click and you will out of his spell. Just be prepared for him to try and reel you back in when he notices you being less of a lap dog towards him

Just be prepared for him to try and reel you back in when he notices you being less of a lap dog towards him

In fact when he does that and they almost always do, now that you're aware of it, recognise it for what it is and let it empower you

Thanks Arya. It’s hard cause so far we’ve both being really amicable, been out with the kids together etc so part of me feels like o need to be the bigger person and smooth over whatever is up with him and the other half thinks “sod tht! He’s shit all over you! Stop running after him”
As for him coming, I doubt that! He’s already led me on three times so I can’t imagine there’ll be a fourth! No one can be that cruel can they?
I just want things to stay friendly as they have been.

Sorry you're going through that, its shit, unfortunately there's no way round it, you have to go through it to get over it. You make sure there isn't a 4th time by not allowing it. Amicable of course is best for the kids but you are probably best off not spending too much time with him when you're still grieving the relationship. It is really tough but you will get over it and get yourself back