I've been dumped

[Stapleextra]

Don't know why I'm posting really, I'm just feeling thoroughly sorry for myself.

Met a man a few weeks before Christmas and we've been dating. Really liked him and we were heading towards a relationship.

We went out yesterday and had a really lovely night. Then late on, he tells me that a woman from his past has been in touch and he really likes me but he has to see if it works out with her.

I am gutted. Why not just text me to tell me? Or alternatively meet me and tell me straight away? It all seems just so bizarre and cruel.

As hard as it is, he's done the decent thing here (very decent). He could have ghosted which seems to be a terrible trend now. He could have texted, which may have been easier for you but is certainly the cowards way out, he could have lied to soften the blow blleaving you with more questions. I'd graciously thank him for not wasting your time, at least it was only a few weeks and not years down the line. I'm not meaning to minimise, I know you're sad and I would be too, but he hasn't acted too badly here, and hopefully it will be relatively easy to lick your wounds and bounce back. I'm sorry, it's still rubbish though.

I just wish, if he wanted to tell me to my face, he had just told me. Why go out and have a lovely night, then tell me at the end? The worst part was him saying 'I really like you. I've told my friends about you, it's clearly heading towards a relationship. But, there's another woman...'

It felt like him saying 'here's what you could've won'.

Why go out and have a lovely night, then tell me at the end?
Because he wanted to see meet you and see if he would choose her or you. He sounds utterly immature and fickle.
He's one of those who think the grass is always greener

This line is used regularly to basically let you down gently.
I've used it too (probably too often).
It's very early days and he's let you know face to face.
Head high and move on.
NEXT >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I’ve literally had the exact same thing.. apart from the other woman.. just the spending time with someone and it’s going well and all of a Sudden bam.. its done

@Icehotel totally agree

Well at least he's told you and you know. He's done the decent thing I suppose

I know it hurts but you've had a nice definitive answer now and it's time to move on. Make sure you don't contact him again

This line is used regularly to basically let you down gently.

Nah, I think it's real. He had an affair and his wife found out (and threw him out) in August. He was honest about it, and said he thought he and the woman he had an affair with would be together once they left their marriages, but she didn't leave hers.

He said she got in touch out of the blue and they went for a drink on Friday. He still text me and then went out for a drink with me, then waited till the end of the night to say he had to see if it would work with her.

I'm gutted.

Sounds like you've had a lucky escape then: a bloke who was willing and happy to cheat on his wife is, on my experience at least, a bloke who's willing to cheat on anyone else. The new/other woman sounds like she deserves him tbh

Block him btw. You don't want to get over it and almost forget about him only for him to crawl out of the woodwork and reopen old wounds when the other woman changes her mind again.

He was using thr date to decide if he wanted to end it or not. He has decided he did, so has done.

Just try to move on, it's only been a short time.

Well that changes things! Ignore my post about him being decent, he's a cheat and although he hasn't cheated on you you've had a lucky escape.

So he's a cheat and a player who hedges his bets!
Well out of that one OP.
Dodged a well dodgy bullet there.
Block him now!

I would not have taken it any further once he admitted to an affair...you can do better than that.

Way too soon for him to be dating after one relationship ending let alone 2. So many men start dating within months of marriages ending. This is the exact reason I wont touch someone who's single less than 6 months to a year with a bloody bargepole....it just equals drama. I really wish people would just be on their own for a bit and get over shit.
You've had a lucky escape.

Hearing people saying I’ve had a lucky escape is cheering me up.

I thought it was good that he was honest about the affair, but if he’s done it before he could do it again I suppose.

The most hurtful bit was him saying he thought we were going to head towards a relationship, because that’s what I wanted. I wonder if him having told people about me is what’s made her get back in touch. Not that it matters, I suppose. Better now than in a year’s time.

He was hedging his bets and I bet he told the other woman he was meeting you and liked you too.

100% a lucky escape. You do NOT want to be drawn into all that drama...