Hi, i was in a very abusive toxic relationship. He started out as the nicest man on the planet. I confided in him about everything from being adopted to being sexually abused by an older brother. He seemed so unserstanding i was only 19 and had no idea what was to come.
He convinced me to move in with him and thats when the abuse started. It would be little things at first, snidy comments about how i had deserved the abuse etc then he turned physical would punch me grab me by the hair and pull me about everywhere and on one occassion and yes i know i was wrong but he was dragging me by the hair and i reached up to pull him off me and pushed him against the window a neighbour seen and phoned the police. We were both arrested and went to court he denied doing anything but i held my hands up and got 3 month good behaviour deferred sentence. It started a viscious cycle. He would constnalty put me down call me names and cheat on me but i still stayed. He cut me off from family and friends. I fwll pregnant with our first child and he attacked me so badly but i was still too scared to report him to the police because every time he got off with things. Was my word against his so i resigned myself to this is how life would be.
He controlled the money what i wore where i went who i could see i lost every one and everything. If i refused sex or didnt want it he would twine and complain until i gave in i wasnt allowed to use any form of birth control and we ended up having 3 more children. I spent the ehole of our 12 years together being made his personal punchbag there for sex when he wanted it and being a doormat and came to believe what he said.
He eventually decided he didnt want to work any more and i was allowed to go back to work. I worked all the hours i could but he still controlled the money etc. He never once laid a hand on the children but i felt trapped into everything.
Eventually a few years later i found the courage to leave him and moved 35 miles away back to my home town and moved back in with my parents. I finally felt like i was getting life back on track. I met a new partner and we have been together over 3 years now but i still have major trust and anxiery issues over the relationship. Not long after i got with my partner my ex started stalking us following us everywhere always driving by his house and work and harrassing me tried to drive me off the road and still i didnt report him looking back now i was so stupid but i felt sorry for him that he had no family any more even thouvh he caused it. While at work my parents decided that they didnt want the childrwn living there any more and waited till i was at work and told their dad to come and pick them up payback for their son being prosecuted for sexual abuse.
That was almost 3 years ago and he still has the kids, wont let me see them and plays the victim. Solicitors are taking ages to do anything. My partner and i now have an almost 2 year old who has never met his siblings. Sorry if i dont make much sense just finding it so difficult today how someone who does that can get away with t and everyone thinks hes perfect and im stuck in the same cycle of his emotional abus3 again