Getting bothered by something minor, anyone else?

[RealPill]

Argh, bloody DH. It's a rare occasion I ever sit down in the evenings, I'm always pottering about doing this and that.

I'm always cleaning and picking up after people, which doesn't really bother me and I enjoy it really. DH isn't a complete slob and would tidy after himself if I gave him half a chance... But, I really dislike ungrateful attitudes.

I just finished a bowl and asked DH, standing halfway from the kitchen into the lounge, to take my bowl in please. He said 'No, come in here and do it'. We were chit chatting anyway so I suppose I could've gone in to chat in there.

Anyway, I said to him 'No, just take it in for me please. I'm really quite tired and Lord knows I'm always clearing up after you'.

To which he replied 'Yeah, but you don't have to. Nobody asks you to'

I feel quite put out, like all my domestic efforts are simply a case of 'I don't have to, nobody's asked me to'.

Maybe I'm just really emotional this evening but it's got to me. I really enjoy making this a lovely, well presented and clean home for us all but it feels like I get sincere thanks. I wouldn't dream of having people worship my feet for it but I just would like a little gratitude in the form of taking my bowl in every now and then.

I should stop tidying up after him if I were you.

Dickhead thing to say and do.

He would soon notice if you stopped. Perhaps stop doing a few little things for him...not around the house...you can still keep that all nice....but dont take his plates out dont pick up his washing or do his washing, dont replace his toiletries....whatever.....see what he says then.

You SHOULD be appreciated, everyone should be xxx

Thank you...

It's horrible when you don't feel like anyone gives a toss. As I say I don't want people to constantly thank me but just quietly appreciating things would be nice

You're right though, I do keep everything in good supply. Always making sure there's a backup of all his essentials, all his washing done, ironed, put away and ready to wear, etc etc

Maybe I'll just stop and see what happens

Does he have some kind of disability OP which means that he can't function as an adult? Why are you behaving like a servant?

What model are you setting for your children? Are you teaching them life skills? What message are you teaching them about women?

Does your husband's behaviour spell R E S P E C T to you? Have you any idea why not, if so?

You’re making a rod for your own back. Stop it. Immediately. Acting like a skivvy gets you treated like a skivvy.

It’s amazing how quickly a lovely, appreciative man turns into a nasty, entitled dickhead when his woman (however well meaning), conforms to old-fashioned gender stereotypes.

Nip it in the bud before he’s a lost cause OP

You're martyring yourself. It gets taken for granted. Rod for your own back.

My auntie's like this - she does everything for everybody - she's 70-odd now and still waiting for someone to make her a cup a tea.

OOhh .. his mask slipped there OP..