Advice on leaving partner

[bananasmoothies]

I'm looking for some advice please.

I'm in a relationship of over ten years with two small children. I'm not desperately unhappy but I'm definitely not happy either.

My partner is the breadwinner and I have balanced bringing up the children with being self employed. I don't earn a huge amount at the moment.

Our joint life is fairly financially comfortable.

Has anyone been in this situation and did you decide to leave or stay? I worry that if I left the children might suffer as a result of my lower income. My income also fluctuates which is a worry. I've never claimed a penny of benefits in my life except child benefit so I don't know what support I could get.
I also don't want to break up the family unit. But part of me thinks I deserve a chance to be happier in my general day to day life. I wonder if I will come to regret wasting my life with someone who doesn't really make me happy.

If you have advice on any aspects of this, I'd like to hear your thoughts. Thanks.

@bananasmoothies

I'm in the exact same situation, although for me it's been 20 years. 2DC.

Like your situation things haven't been aweful, we have done some amazing things in our time, but more often thsn not I don't feel happy.

It came to a head at Christmas and I told him I wanted yo leave. He is now begining me to stay and try to work things out. Problem is I have completely fallen out of love with him and now feel trapped 😔

It's a hard one. Feel free to PMme if you need to chat x x

@YommyMommy

It sounds like we feel the same.

I love my partner, but I'm not in love with him. Truthfully, I don't feel sexual attraction to him at all either.

The sad thing is, I think he's still thinking it's all sunshine and rainbows.

@bananasmoothies

Yip it sounds exactly the same and it's breaking my heart s little.

My H has also told me that if I leave he will disappear as he can't stick around to watch me move on with my life ☹️

Have you actually told him you are no longer sexually attracted to him, can't stand the idea of sex with him, can't stand him touching you, etc. or whatever you exact feelings are? Unfortunately if your feelings towards him have so conclusively died there's almost no chance of bringing them back, but he still deserves to know the full truth.

You’re not breaking up anything in following your heart of a loving relationship. Children start to model as they get older and is your relationship what you want your children to learn about relationships? Probably not.