Heartbroken

[MrsDaveGrohl78]

Ok I may need someone to bash my head in and tell me to woman up!

I made the catastrophic mistake of meeting a man last year and fell in love, hard. I can safely say I've never felt like that since I buried my fiancé almost 18 years ago (I'm 41 now).

After spending both Christmas Day and New Year together he suddenly without warning dumped me on New Year's Day. His mother had a stroke (she lives a 7 hour drive away) and his daughter had made him a grandad and he needed to be there for them both, claiming he had no time for a relationship right now.

I said to him it's all very well supporting his family but who was supporting HIM? He said nobody, as usual. I said that's what a relationship is there for, mutual support for when things get tough. He won't have it as he thinks it's selfish keeping me around just for support when he may not see me for weeks at a time.

I'm gutted. How can I get over this? I'm aware I sound so pathetic but I'm honestly blindsided and still having trouble dealing with it

That’s harsh of him and hard to deal with. He should’ve been honest with you. He’s just not that into you now and thinks it is letting you down gently by saying it’s for your own good so you’re not hanging around for weeks. It would have been kinder to just say he feels the relationship has run it’s course as it would then stop you thinking oh it could’ve worked. If he wanted to be in a relationship with you he would have made it work, no matter what else he was dealing with.
Heartbreak is not nice to deal with especially when you have such strong feelings but it is possible to get over and there are other people out there, even though it might not feel like that at the moment.

Sounds really painful not sure when last year you met but short relationships where you develop feelings fast are an utter pain to get over as the 'what if?' lingers.

Sorry to say it but I also think that he felt things had run their course and this was a catch all excuse to let you down kindly. You don't sound pathetic in the least. We have all been there at least once.

Be kind to yourself, spend time on your interests and friends and let time do its healing. As soon as you feel able, get back out there dating but be selective. Strings of half arsed dates will not help you move on.

Thanks for your replies!

We were only dating from May but clearly I fell harder than he did if he found it so easy to just discard me like that.

It was so strange as only days earlier he was suggesting plans for my birthday - which isn't until July! 🤷🏼‍♀️