Ex mother in law

[Crowne]

In brief split up with partner 3 years ago, we have 7 year old son

I was on phone to ex trying to sort pick up time as my ex kept changing her mind, son is in background as is ex mother with her

Eventually I pick son up and he then tells me that his nanny called me a bully 3-4 times in front of him whilst I was on phone to mummy

This really took me back and shocked me as I am far from that. I told son that was inappropriate what she said and she shouldn’t say that and I apologised that he had to hear that and deal with that in his own mind

I have raised this with my ex but she is trying to sweep it under the carpet as if nothing happened as she didn’t hear anything

Part of the reason why we broke up is because of ex in law controlling behaviour and interference

I wanted to talk about what happened with son and ex all together but she says what is the point

I’m really quite sad that has been said to my son and I’m now worried that he has that word in his head about me

Any ideas on how I can tackle this situation?

My son loves his nanny to pieces and if anything because of the way she is and controls situations I often think he looks at her as his mum which is really sad

The thought of her saying things to my son behind my back is quite sickening like she is trying to drive me away

Any thoughts would be appreciated

Thanks

Could you tackle your ExMIL yourself?
I would also expect your Ex to back you up but it sounds like that is not going to happen.
You just need to keep re-affirming that you are not a bully and you respect your Ex and love your DS.
Lead by example and he shouldn't go far wrong.

To be blunt. She sounds like a toxic cunt. Im using thise words cos some people deserve them. And she sounds v similar to my exMIL who took pleasure in sabotaging my relationship. Cos she just could. Can you just tell her, calmly but bluntly, that her behaviour is 100% unacceptable. I have a 10 yr old and an 8 year old. She still slash me off and shit stirs but the 10 year old sees through it so she is shooting herself in foot. 8 year old, still young. It's really hard. People like that don't change. My only advice is to speak to your son and explain how her behaviour is wrong and unacceptable. Without getting angry or emotional if that's possible. I feel for you. It's shit. There are shit people who love to stir.

Sorry for typos. Your post stirred strong feelings!

I emailed my Ex MIL and had it all in writing. That way, it's out there in permanent form. People conveniently forget conversations. Or twist them. Maybe cc your exW too. Set out firm ground rules about her behaviour in front of your son. Ask her to agree to them. Calm but firm.

She may ignore them, but at least tried. And forward them every time she overstep the mark