Developing feelings for FWB

[Microwavedtea]

I'll start by saying I'm a regular user but have name changed as I post about other bits and dont want them linked. I also want to say I'm well aware I sound like I'm writing into an agony aunt in a teenage magazine but I want to gauge your opinions as I am now in my 30's and definitely not a teenager!

About a month ago I met up with an old (male) friend and started off just catching up but both admitted we weren't looking for a relationship but would be nice to have the things you get with one without the commitment (sex, chats, company once in a while etc.), I'm also conscious that I was in a relationship for a very long time until a few months ago and I need to learn to be on my own for a bit and be more comfortable on my own and less reliant on another person. But one thing led to another and since then we have seen eachother a few times, basically whenever my child has been with her dad, including a couple of extra times over Christmas when ex was off work for additional days. I've seen this guy about 4 times now I think.

Problem is, I'm starting to get feelings for my FWB and wish there could be a bit more to it.... I know, I know, this is why they're a bad idea and why I feel like I'm writing to an agony aunt in Sugar mag. I dont know whether to say something to him or not because if I go by what he (and I) said at the beginning he doesnt want a relationship but then he says or does little things that make me wonder (although I could just be reading too much into it).

What would you all do? Keep schtum or say something? Scope him out again?

I’ve recently been in this situation. You need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel... otherwise you will keep seeing him and sleeping together and your feelings will be getting stronger and you’re just opening up yourself for heartbreak. I was reading into things too, like him phoning me and texting me all the time, and inviting me out to do things in the day.... sometimes they want all the perks of a relationship without any of the commitment. Just be honest with him and see what he says, it’ll save you some pain if he’s only in it for sex x

I also think uou need to be honest, because if you're not you will likely get badly hurt. Especially if he meets someone he does wish a relationship with.

Tell him you'd like a relationship but understand his views. See what he says, if he says no, then prepare to end it.

I would have to say four times and you're already developing feelings is very fast indeed. Even if you were both open to a relationship you shouldn't be feeling like this already.

I think maybe you were right, you need to learn to be alone.

Thank you, this is what I'm thinking. We speak every day and its always him who initiates contact as I make a conscious effort to not be the one who texts first but then I just find myself waiting to hear from him and checking my phone constantly, which is a bit pathetic.

I think I'm going to have to say something or at least scope him out a bit and stop things sooner rather than later if they arent going anywhere before I'm hurt and before I close myself off from meeting someone who can give me what I seemingly want.

@Bluntness100 - I think I am going to say I feel like I want to be in a relationship again (but not say with him) and see what his reaction is.

When I say developing feelings I mean that to be thatI would like a little more than just meeting for sex. It's a strange one as I've known him for well over 10 years, and were pretty good friends before I got together with my ex, but never looked at him in this way as I was in a relationship before, but I've really seen a different side to him now (and not just in terms of sex).

That's a good idea, just say you've rethought the fwb thing and prefer a relationship. See what he says.

Definitely have the conversation with him...your feelings have changed, it happens. You need to be open and transparent with him, and with yourself.

Happened to me too...

We got married last year