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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

he wont even acknowledge me anymore

43 replies

LilTx · 21/01/2020 12:03

I was seeing this guy for 4 months then he went and got married to another woman behind my back and he blocked me off everything. Then we got back together for a month because he said he’s divorcing her and they don’t even live together or anything so our relationship just resumed to how it was when we first got together.

Then one night I went onto his phone because I didnt trust him as I’ve caught him talking to other girls in the past and I found his wedding pics so I sent them to myself so I could look at them because I was curious and he went on a rage from this.

He says it’s all my fault and I ruined everything and for the past month he has been ignoring all my calls and messages..

I love him so much. I don’t know what to do. He broke my heart then it’s like he came back into my life and gave me false hope and has left again but this time round hasn’t blocked me off anything.

I don’t think I’ll love anyone else, all I’ve wanted was him. I’ve known him for 2 years..

OP posts:

alliwantisabitofpeace · 21/01/2020 12:58

If your dream man makes you the other woman and marries someone whilst declaring their undying love for you you need to raise your standards girl!

Seriously though block him and move on. Spend time with friends and rebuild your confidence.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/01/2020 13:28

everything about him really from his personality down to his looks is what made him perfect for me

it likely makes him 'perfect' for several other women too.. he's a dirty player who has been using you to boost his ego... you beg for his attention every day.. he married someone else behind your back FFS ?!
what next.. a Child by another women...before you see him for what he is ? you need to find your self respect and dignity and kick this cretin to the kerb...

user1471449295 · 21/01/2020 15:47

He’s a prick.
How old is he OP? Were you seeing him at yours or his? I’m wondering how he managed to keep a long term partner/fiancé hidden from you. Did you know he was in a relationship during the first 4 months? How did you find out he got married?

newbingepisodes · 21/01/2020 16:09

Sounds like you fall fast and hard!
We've all been there - it will pass and you'll meet someone else and you'll realise how daft you were to get upset over him!

PatriciaHolm · 21/01/2020 16:09

You need to get some better dreams.

He's a nightmare bloke. Check yourself for STIs, and delete any contact details you have for him.

LittlebitAlexis · 21/01/2020 16:28

Did you love that he married someone else behind your back? No
Did you love that he was messaging other women? No
Did you love that you needed to access his phone? No
Did you love that you can't trust him? No
Do you love it when he blocks you on everything? No
Did you love when he went on a rage? No

Seriously this isn't love it's desperation honestly op you deserve to treat yourself better than this excuse of a man he's awful and does not care or love you! No he doesn't and yes you will get over him in time and find someone who can love you as this isn't it.

cheeseaddict420 · 21/01/2020 16:40

Darling he literally went and married someone else you have your whole life ahead of you, you are only 21. What do your friends say? Surely they think he is total shit bag.
Block his number and work on your self esteem and self respect, he sounds horrible - HE GOT MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE

followingonfromthat · 21/01/2020 17:10

How would you feel if it had been you he married, and you found out he was shagging someone else for a month?

You would be devastated, wouldn't you? But he doesn't care. Because that's the sort of man he is.

His personality is NOT perfect. He's a bastard.

Find someone nice.

Bluntness100 · 21/01/2020 17:13

You know he married his fiancée right and that he isn't divorcing her and he is just wishing to have sec with uou, he's not leaving her?

ChristmasFluff · 21/01/2020 17:15

No-one should ever love another adult unconditionally. There should ALWAYS be dealbreakers, places where you have drawn a mental line, and if it is crossed, you walk away.

Marrying someone else out of the blue would be one of mine, for instance.

GlennBulb · 21/01/2020 17:17

Op, this happened to someone I know.

Is he a traveler?

Joker123 · 21/01/2020 17:17

The only people you should love without condition are your children.
You will meet someone worthy of you and I know you don’t feel like that right now.
Please stop chasing a man who treats women this way.
Go out with your friends and live your life!

theplough · 21/01/2020 18:34

Are you insane, op? You saw this bloke for four months then he married someone else? Then he came back to you? And you let him?

Why?

In what way is this lying, cheating waste of space your dream man? Because he's attractive??

Plenty more fish out there.

Dump this guy and block him. You might find the Freedom Programme helpful so you can raise your standards for your next relationship.

lexiepuppy · 21/01/2020 19:13

He’s not your dream man.
He is someone who reminds you of a parent or a sibling and they treated you badly, so now you want to make it right by being with him. It will wreck your mental health. He is no good.

Block and delete him from SM and your phone.

Write down all the shitty things he has done to you and read it when you think he is Mr wonderful.

Watch some videos on YouTube about narcissism:
Narc survivor
Surviving narcissism
Melanie Tonia Evans
Sarah Speaks

Research narcissists/psychopaths/sociopaths.

Knowledge is power.

Take him off the pedestal and put yourself up there instead.💐

AgentJohnson · 22/01/2020 04:54

He was my dream man.

You need to rethink your ‘dreams man’ qualifications because liar, cheater, manipulator appear to be on your list if you consider this man to be your dream.

There’s no happy ever after on the horizon and the non arsehole version of him is waiting around the corner.

This is who he is and his terrible points overshadow any good points he may possess.

DarrellMakepeace · 22/01/2020 05:47

You were the Other Woman OP. He didn't marry someone out of the blue, he was in a relationship all along but he was cheating on her with you.

Find yourself some self respect and raise the standards of your dreams up to where you are looking for a person who treats you well.

Lizzie0869 · 22/01/2020 06:00

He's not your dream man, he's using you. You're offering yourself to him on a plate and he knows that he has only to snap his fingers and you'll come running.

You really should block his number and get him out of your life. And then you should have therapy to help you come to terms with everything that you've been through. I also suggest that you should stay single for a while, otherwise you'll follow the same pattern again.

tulipsmith · 22/01/2020 06:10

It's better find someone new even if it may sound hard now.

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