I confessed to my BFF him I loved him.

[JtD1999]

After being friends for 11 years, hanging out together, sharing all problems in life, failed relationships, everything, even women problems, I confessed to him I wanted more. He rejected me but we still are exactly the same as if I’d said nothing. He was very lovely in doing so saying how much I mean to him as a friend, which can only be a good thing. However, we still subtly flirt, how do I stop my feelings quickly? His friendship means more to me than a potential failed relationship. And we’re being very mature regarding this issue. Late 30s / early 40s. We know how it works. Or thought we did. I thought this was meant to get easier as we got older 🙄🧐 He means the world to me and will do anything for me and vice versa. How do I fight my sexual urge?!? I’m blaming my hormones 😂 any advice welcome. TIA

If he doesn't want anything with you, I'd consider pulling away. This won't be healthy for your next partner in your next relationship, he'll sense the bond you share and will see your desire for him.

Cut him off, find someone you can give yourself to wholeheartedly.

The best thing to do here is to take a step back.

Your friendship is important to you but that line is blurred. The only way you're going to get away from that is to actually get away from it.

Cut back on the contact. Cut back on the flirting. Try dating other people just to expose yourself to something that isn't him.

Cut him off

Some people on this board can manage to squeeze a 'LTB' out of literally any set of circumstances. Impressive.

He sounds like a really nice guy as you said he is carrying on as normal, he's doing the right thing...I don't think you should abandon the friendship. I think you need to find an amazing boyfriend (easier said than done I know!) and then I think your feelings will fade.

Stop flirting with him. Ask him to stop flirting with you

Get a fuck buddy for sex. Think you'll have to suck this one up. It was a real mistake to confess. If the friendship was going to lead to a romantic relationship it would have done so already. I'd work on my feelings with an impartial party, too, because it may be he will get a girlfriend/wife at one point and she might come between the pair of you anyhow.

He’s actually a lovely guy and very thoughtful. He’s never used me or strung me along. Maybe how we’ve been able to be friends so long. I’m sure these feelings will pass, but yes, taking a step back is probably the best thing tbh. Thanks everyone 😊

Hey @JtD1999. I’m in a similarish position. Really good friends with guy. However work together. And we slept with each other. My feelings are the same as you towards my guy. And we have carried on as normal as like you friendship means more than a failed relationship. I have to say it’s f**king hard. I know eventually he will move on and I don’t think I will be able to face that day. I’m actually going to see how it goes for next month or so (some days are harder than others) and start looking for a new job if it doesn’t get any easier. Sadly the heart wants what the hearts wants. You never know what the future holds. I will say though as selfish as it sounds look after No 1.

We’re still carrying on as normal. Speaks volumes about his respect for me because he could have humped and dumped but hasn’t. Long term staying friends is much better. It is what it is. Hope things work out for you one way or another ☺️