Apologies for the long post but I’m completely broken and in need of advice. Bit of a back story, 10yrs ago DH (prior to our wedding) developed a crush on a work colleague and pursued a relationship with her. He ended our relationship and at the time and told me he wanted to be with her. She decided there was too much pressure attached and he came running back to me claiming he had a wake up call. I chose to forgive him and for the last 10 years we have been pretty happy. We got married, bought a home, moved out of the city and had a DD together who is now 4yrs old. I haven’t really given any thought to what happened in the past.
DH started a new job in our new town around a year ago and for the past few months, that gut feeling has been back that something wasn’t right. I asked him if there was anything he needed to tell me and he lied to my face- after 15 years together I know when he is lying. For months I have been tearing myself apart trying to find proof, checking his phone, begging him to tell me the truth. Quite frankly I’ve made myself ill with it.
Tonight he has told me that whilst nothing has happened, he’s had a crush on a work colleague who he works closely with each day and has been ‘obsessed’ with her for months. He says nothing has happened at all and I’m inclined to believe him as she appears to be happily married with 2 children. DH has then told me that whilst he has no reason to believe she has any feelings for him, he would leave me and DD to be with her if she ever showed an interest.
I’m completely devastated and feel a fool that I have let him do this to me twice. Needless to say, I have told him we are separating.
I don’t know what to do about the finances though. Our house is my main worry. We have a fairly large mortgage on our home and whilst I can afford the repayments on my solo income, I don’t believe the bank will approve me for a mortgage of that size. I have checked the online calculator and that suggests I would only be approved for half the amount that’s currently outstanding. I therefore have no chance of buying DH out of his share and would assume that I can’t take on the mortgage solely. Any ideas on my options or rights? I don’t want to have to move DD out of this home as she is so settled and having Daddy move out will be upsetting enough for her.