I’m feeling really frustrated. Dh and I have a few issues and I was thinking recently about separating but I’m finding it so hard to broach the subject with him.
Meanwhile, the money issue has reared its head again.
Dh is a high earner,, about 4-5 times what I earn in my part time public sector job.
We live in a big house which is great in some ways but a real money pit and to be honest it feels like we don’t have the resources the house needs.
We could move to something substantially cheaper which would be adequate for what we need in terms of space. But this house feels like something of a status symbol for dh (this ‘pride’ is an aspect of his character that I don’t like).
Anyway, despite his good wage he lives in his overdraft. To the tune of About £3-4000 before payday. I worry loads about this and especially since we got an email from the bank saying they’re changing the rules and are going to charge 39% on overdrafts from April.
I just hate it, it keeps me awake at night and it feels so wrong as on paper we should be ok.
But whenever I broach it the conversation goes nowhere. I just said isn’t is possible to get it down and he said ‘clearly not’ then talked about going away at half term.
I have control of my own account and don’t have loads spare but just about keep in the black. I pay all stuff for kids and house, he pays all bills and big things.
We have big one off costs like annual car insurance and oil orders every 6 weeks or so (we’re not on gas). I’d like to work out the annual costs, divide by 12 then put that amount aside each month to help spread the cost but he won’t hear of it.
It’s like I’ve got no say.
Then ultimately I feel if we can’t stay in the black because of bills etc we should move to a cheaper house. But he won’t discuss that either ☹️