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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel like the worst person ever

3 replies

Halloweenbabyy · 20/01/2020 20:33

My mum is chronically unwell both mentally and physically - depression since I can ever remember, irrational behaviour, if I don’t see her for a few weeks she will cry to me over how nobody cares and she will eventually be found dead in a corner on her own ☹️ She is also can barely walk, she gets PIP and my father does everything for her.
Recently she was just so awful to me regarding childcare - I’m 17+5 weeks pregnant with my first child and she was guilt tripping me and making me feel like the worst daughter ever as I stated all been well the child would be going to nursery 2 days a week - she is adamant she could have my child and even though realistically she couldn’t at all - when I tried to explain she just sobbed and said some unfair and irrational things and put the phone down on me. The woman is actually giving me shit for babysitting a child that’s not even born yet.

Then lately a friend - who I used to be best fiends with but then I have seen nothing of for well over a year has started to bother with me all of a sudden, when I speak to her she all but gloats over her perfect life and I just feel like telling her to fuck off. I honestly don’t want to hear about her been happy - this is a massive issue and I know it. She has nothing that I don’t have, I’m not envious of her because I know how good I do have it, but I just can’t cope with anyone happy or gloaty. I’m dreading seeing her, I don’t want to buy then I know I need to, but I don’t want to deal with anyone happy right now. I don’t want people to be miserable but literally everyone is winding me up.
Before a found out I was pregnant I was on 60mg of fluoxetine and 50mg amatryptaline. I don’t really want to take any medication now with been pregnant. I don’t really know what to do ☹️

OP posts:
Therebythedoor · 21/01/2020 08:44

First, have you, or can you, discuss your meds with your GP or other specialist? I'd do that. Did you stop meds suddenly or have a phased withdrawal.

Second, why do you think your former best friend has got in contact with you after a year? And why do you need to see her or speak to her, if it isn't in your best interests at the moment? You are not obliged to be or stay friends with anyone.

I would be non-committal with your friend and not get around to meeting up. Also avoid lengthy calls with her to limit the opportunities for gloating. Or you could just tell her to fuck off!

I don't know how you deal with your guilt-tripping mother. All I can say is that luckily you do have the measure of her as you recognise her behaviour for what it is.

I imagine your father has no influence over your mother. Hopefully someone who can offer suggestions will post soon. Does he offer you emotional support at all or is your mother all time-consuming?

Who is there for you?

Therebythedoor · 21/01/2020 08:48

PS you aren't the worst person ever; sadly, I think that's me.

Halloweenbabyy · 21/01/2020 10:48

The antidepressants were just stopped really. My dad is equally fed up Of my mother however he just gets on with it and just misty agrees with her to shit her up I think.

My husband is good support and I do have a couple of friends x

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