New man and his ex...

[EmilyIsHappy]

My relatively new man (2 months regular dating but seeing each other less frequently a month or so before that), constantly checks his ex’s social media.

At first I didn’t think much of it as everyone looks at all parts of Facebook and Instagram as they come up. But today I found him looking in detail at a photo ex had posted. She wasn’t in it, it was one of scenery with a friend in it.

Should I be worried about this? I don’t want to question him on it as it was a bad break up, lots of upset and he was pretty cut up over it. He’s not a man who likes conflict and wouldn’t have deleted her. I don’t mind that she’s on his media.

Should I continue to ignore this?

I would ask.
There's no point in speculation. Get the question out there.
He might surprise you by opening up. He might just really like the pic.

You'll never know if you don't ask.

He's not over her is he?

I don’t think he’s over her, no.

We had a chat a while back about the break up in general and he just said it was shit and admitted he had fought against it ending.

Not sure whether to raise it as otherwise things are good.

It's up to you op , but do you really want to be with someone that would break up with you in a heartbeat if he ex wanted him back?

This doesn't sound good for you.

I don’t know if it means he’d go back to her in a heartbeat. When I asked weeks ago,m about her at the start, he said he still cared a lot for her and would find it difficult to consider getting back with her since meeting me. I just went with it and we’ve grown closer.

Yes you should be worried about this.. kick his boring stalky ass to the kerb...

It I hadn’t noticed this I wouldn’t have any reason to think he wasn’t happy with me. It’s confusing!

I guess just feel that the beginning of a relationship is when you're most focused on each other , it's that crazy phase of almost feeling like it's the two of you against the world etc. What you have here is a man that is still looking closely at the social media page of his ex. I think you're being shortchanged op , no honeymoon phase for you.

Just let it be for now. It’s early days, don’t over invest but not necessarily a bad sign that he was emotionally involved enough to be upset and take time to get over her

Yeah I tend to agree. I feel a bit cheated as I haven’t noticed anything other than focus on us...so it’s like he’s had this secret where he’s still been checking up on her!

Stop wasting your time. He is still consumed with his ex. Don't allow another 6 months of your life to fritter away only to finally accept what you already know.

What do I do though...end something that’s quite happy because I’m questioning him following up on social media

I would end it. Its early days if you already feel like this now then there's no point.
The early days are supposed to be your happiest times. Doesn't sound like he's over her.

Yeah. Think I’m going to. When I noticed he was doing it I thought maybe tell him that I want him to take some time and in a few weeks if he’s cleared his head to let me know?

If in the early days you have a hunch that he is hankering after an ex by keep looking at her social media... tisnt good

How long ago was the breakup?
It doesn't sound like he's over her to me.

I'd tell him my thoughts and end it. Or I'd just end it.

I agree that he isn't over her and it doesn't bode well for your relationship. He is using you as a distraction to try and get over her.

How long ago was the split? I told my fiance when we had gone out a few times, how cut up I was when my marriage ended and he did the same, I still nose at my ex's fb and my fiance probably does the same, it's human nature to be nosey. However, if he's looking her up every day and staring wistfully at pics of her then yes, you gave a problem, but the odd look at what she's up to shouldn't be a big deal