I was married to the man of my dreams, I adored him, then 3 years ago I started a new job. My husband started to be distant, avoiding coming to bed with me & never wanting to have sex, he was working away from home a lot & was having nights out in London. He is 18 years older than me. It took 5 yrs for him to agree that we could have a baby.
2 months after I started my job, there was a night out in I met someone at work that I hadn’t spent any time with before, he had been with his partner for 14 yrs. we got on great, then we had a work outting & I spent all day with him & that was it.... I couldn’t think about anyone else, I’d go to sleep thinking about him & wake up thinking of him. Then the Christmas party I told him how I felt, I didn’t say this but I knew I loved him, & he tried kissing me several times, I couldnt do it to my husband, so I ended it with my husband 4 weeks later, might seem like I made the decision too quickly, but I knew I couldnt be with my husband anymore, the last time we had sex, I cried after. My head was messed up & I didn’t love him anymore. I have a 4 yr old with my husband.
So I told my husband I wasn’t happy, he said that I had changed since I’d had the baby & loved the baby too much, he wouldnt try counselling, so I told him I would leave & I took a bag of clothes & my baby & left. I moved in with family till I got my own place.
I was seeing the new man & I loved him, 2 years later... I’m at work writing this. My heads messed up, I left my husband which I don’t regret but I left for someone who has totally messed me around. He left his partner 3 months after I left, he kept sleeping back at her house though, (they have a 12 yr old) he lied to me a lot, Christmas 2018 was the worst ever. He dumped me at the begging of December & slept at ‘their house’ all of December & then text me in January & wrote me a letter saying he’d messed up & he promised not to do it again, I went back because I loved him. Then he kept sleeping at the house again & lying about where he was & I found out. I kept finishing it & he’d beg me to take him back & I would, it was a vicious circle. I went away for a month with my son to clear my head came back & he was waiting for me, I finished it 2 days later because I can’t trust him... This has been goi on for 2 years. I’ve never met his son. I didn’t want to finish it, I wanted it to work. Now 1 week later I’m messed up.
What do I do? It’s early days but I can’t stop thinking about him. I miss him, he isn’t why I thought. Karma is a bitch, as I said I don’t regret leaving my husband because we had moved so far apart. But my life is non existent, I have my son which is amazing, but I want to be in a relationship & I want to have more children.