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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling to cope with DP mental health

4 replies

Tryingmybest74 · 20/01/2020 10:13

Just abit of back story, we've been together almost 9 years, from been young kids, he works away 4 days a week but with a high paying job & I stay at home with our two young DC.
He had a really horrible upbringing which I think causes him alot of issues.

The past 5 or so years suffered with his mental health, it started with an eating disorder which got him down to about 5stone but he's battled through that and says he doesn't have any issues with it anymore, which I believe.

However he is abit depressed, not like he can't get out of bed but suicidal depressed.
He says it's something he contiplates all the time.
His mood swings are crazy, he turns things on me, for example I caught him sending messages he shouldn't be , he was really sorry but now turned it on me because I kept making him feel bad & I shouldn't with his MH the way it is & because of that he's not spoke to me really in 2 days.
Most days he's really great but other days if he's home hel just lock himself in our room and not come out.

I know it might sound like he's putting it on but he's not.
I'm just really struggling with his behaviour to the point it's making me feel ill.
I don't want to leave him.
Is there any help I can get him?
He has been to the drs who just told him to make life style changes

OP posts:
Nifflernancy · 20/01/2020 10:18

He has to decide to get help himself. Has he been offered medication?

To be honest though he’s choosing to treat you this badly, depression doesn’t turn you into an abusive arsehole. You have children to think about and they are doubtless being damaged by these circumstances.

Tryingmybest74 · 20/01/2020 10:22

@nifflernancy to be honest the kids are non the wiser, we never argue Infront of the kids and he's generally in a good mood when he's around them.
He refuses medication because he doesn't want to become dependent on it

OP posts:
Interestedwoman · 20/01/2020 11:12

'He has been to the drs who just told him to make life style changes'

He needs to go back. If that's what they said the first time, they won't do that if he goes back again, they'll consider more active treatment.

I would insist on him doing so, and/or getting therapy. I appreciate he's got help for his eating disorder in the past, but's not fair on you for him to be like this and not doing all he can now.

'He refuses medication because he doesn't want to become dependent on it'

If he needs meds, then he needs them.

Nifflernancy · 20/01/2020 16:42

The children will be picking up on an atmosphere. They are like little sponges. This is such an unhealthy situation. And I say this as someone with mental health problems myself!

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