Ideas on how to carry on living positively through divorce from narcissist?

[Movingon83]

Does anybody have some positive things/ideas to help me get through my long drawn out divorce to a narcissist? How do you cope when everything is so uncertain (His intention) and you know it’s not going to get resolved without you pushing it all the way! Literally my life is upside down and I keep getting dragged down and I want to try and live positive during this episode!
What have other people done who have gone through this? Or is it just a case of accept it’s gonna be shit till it’s over?

So far I’ve tried counselling and joined the freedom programme (been to first session)

Hi there, I’ve just been through a horrific divorce from someone like this. Sadly the only way through is to accept that they are out to make your life a living hell. They will punish you, control you, play mind games - you need to steel yourself. DO NOT ever show any vulnerability - they are like sharks getting a scent of blood. I came out of it battered but knowing that I was stronger than I had ever imagined. Lean on your friends and family - don’t be afraid to ask for support. I feel for you.

Going through this too - he is refusing to engage, punishing me, trying to control etc.

I am engaging my inner steel core & refusing to be bullied.

He's a CUNT.

The one thing which helped me get through the lies and manipulation over the two years of divorce proceedings (there are, for example, untruths in the final written judgement concerning my finances) was knowing I had the inner strength NOT to show any sign of weakened resolve. As a previous post has said I discovered I was made of steel when it was necessary and my ex husband never once saw me shout or cry from the day he left our family home in 2015.

Of course I would break down and sob with close friends and family but he never saw it. I didn't think I had it in me. I wish you strength and inner calm.

My inner calm is loosing its shit! I’m so fed up at the length of time it’s all taking and how his feelings must be taken into account when he’s smashed mine into the ground!

Ha I'm almost 4 years in trying to divorce mine! It is finally been moving forward as he wants to marry the OW in the summer but has dragged his feet every step of the way so far. I ignore his texts as much as possible, literally don't answer unless it's important as he takes every opportunity to have a go at me. Grey rock is really the only defence against a narcissist it frustrates them because they don't get the buzz of upsetting you. The really difficult thing is that they don't care about anyone but themselves including DC so they will do or say anything to get their own way.

Grey rock. And sadly if you have children together, you can look forward to grey rocking until they reach maturity and you can finally cut contact. 2 years post divorce I get threatened with police for harassment if I send more than two consecutive text messages about the children. He delights in any sign of upsetting me, even though he's had 3 new victims /girlfriends in the last 18 months

Hello Movingon83 - I've also been going through a horrendous divorce from a narc. Just wondering how you got on.