Do you and your partner always do things with each other's family and friends?

[Petals23]

We don't live together. In general, my boyfriend declines to come to family events with me, even just casual get-togethers. That doesn't bother me too much, but what does annoy me is when he asks me to something with his family or friends he expects me to do it, and I generally go. Anything involving his family involves long boozy days and this is not really my thing. Does anyone have any advice?

I had this issue with DP. He's an only child from a very small family - he's close with his parents as that's all he has left.
I'm from a huge family.

He really struggles with the big family get-togethers.

We compromise. He'll come along to get-togethers now but before we got we will agree not to stay longer than a certain time or have a pre-prepared reason for him to leave if I want to stay and he's getting overwhelmed.

It took a long time because initially I felt like he was taking the piss but it genuinely causes him stress.

Your DP also needs to compromise.

Husband doesnt have anything to do with my friends - more because I go out with my friends and he stays in and after the kids. But also I'd like to see my friends as they are mine and not his.

Your dp needs to compromise here, his expectation of you doing it all, while he gets to cherry pick is unfair.

I'm from a huge close knit family (dad's Catholic, mum's largely extended) and over the past 5 years we've going through a period of 2 or 3 parties a month (weddings, milestone birthdays and wedding anniversaries) dh is extremely socially awkward, hates social gatherings, isn't a big fan of some of my family members. So we compromised, and he comes to every other party, but all of the weddings and the annual Christmas party.

His family are very small and don't get together very often, possibly twice a year, so I tend to go to all of the get togethers, however I know if I said I didn't feel like it, there wouldn't be an issue.