Being called names

[Dormers01]

My boyfriend of 2.5 years calls me a fucing cunt and a bich about 4 to 5 times a week. He wakes up in a mood he lost his job and he Gets explosively angry over such small things like the WiFi not working. It’s not emotional abuse like everything else Iv been reading. He’s just frustrated at life and I need to know a way for him to aim his anger at someone or something else. It is nearly every day and he tells me he doesn’t want me and that he doesn’t love me and that I’m an idiot and a cunt. But then when I try to leave he doesn’t want me to go. Any advice on how to try and calm him?

Buy- Not but🤨

Please read the opening post of this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/698029-Right-listen-up-everybody
It's an old one, but still one of hte best posts I've ever seen on MN.

Umm...that IS emotional abuse. It doesn't have to be the same as other emotional abuse you have heard about to still be emotional abuse.

Someone who is supposed to love you constantly telling you they don't and calling you horrible names is abuse.

It is designed to hurt your heart. And there is no excuse for it.

I daresay if you dig a little dealer there will be other unacceptable behaviours too (not that there needs to be). Silent treatment/huffs? Never happy with you or anything you do? Argumentative all the time? Flies into anger over nothing? Makes you feel like you are walking on egg shells and have to think before you say/do anything? Constant white lies and exaggerations? Arrogance? Lack of empathy? Selfishness? Doesn't like your friends/fam? ..any of these ringing bells?

Also, to quote roughly Lundy from.'why does he do that?' :

'He is not abusive because he is angry, he is angry because he is abusive'.

But then when I try to leave he doesn’t want me to go.

No one I have left has ever wanted me to go. When I was dumped I didn't want them to go. Two people need to agree the start of a relationship but only one is needed to end it.

He just doesn't want you to be the one to leave him op. No bully wants their victim to go 'screw you I won't let you bully me any more, I'm off'. Because that takes away their power.

Yes. Lots of it I think

You need to build up your confidence, self esteem and inner warrior OP. Why are you with someone so nasty, abusive and with nothing but nothing to recommend himself to anyone?
Boundaries OP.
Your self worth is on the floor and if you continue as you are you will become a shadow of yourself.
Please end this relationship. Please put yourself first instead of last. It's no way to live.
It's toxic.

It's actually painful how low the bar is - not just from OP, but others too.

What sort of adult thinks it's ok to speak to another person like that?

The minute they call you a bitch or a cunt, or whatever word is offensive to you - they get 1 chance - if you feel like it. I couldn't be arsed with one chance. Someone who thinks that's ok? Not someone I want around me.

I don't need to explain, and I don't care for their explanation, so everyone is happy.

We teach others how to teach us. Don't teach people they can insult you.

Sorry OP, this is emotional abuse and you really, really don't deserve it. This is one bad boyfriend and you should get rid of him as soon as you can. He will only do you more damage the longer you stay. Good luck, you can have a great life without this person.

Leave this a-hole at once.

A weed addict. What a surprise.

How depressing it is to keep hearing the same things said by the same women whose partners are addicted to weed.