Do I break up with him?

[sweetnsuga123]

I've been with my boyfriend for a bit over 3 years. We are both 22. He lives with a female housemate at uni who I was a bit worried about. My boyfriend knows I feel like this. They go to the gym together everyday which I was fine with but this week he has ignored my messages and I saw him on her story chatting just them two in the house and they also went for a meal just them two. He also waited in the nail shop with her while she got her nails done.

She then said yesterday when I was there that he had been doing pull ups with her on his back in the gym which made me feel sick.

I asked him about it and he said that he playfights with all of his housemates but I said it's obviously different because she's a girl. He barely said anything and basically said 'sorry you feel like that'. My friends and family are telling me to end things, what do you think?

Listen to your friends and family. Your lives are diverging. Move on. Even if nothing is going on with them, he is showing no regard for your feelings.

I lived with 5 guys at university, in a house share. Same sort of age, and this doesn't seem necessarily at all romantic or weird to me. I had a boyfriend I was crazy about but I'd have done these sort of things with other housemates. She lives with them, so they will be a bit like a little family or group of siblings.

But you don't sound happy and I wonder if it's not only he has this female friend but that he's started to pull away from you. Maybe you feel this happening at the same time as giving his female friend attention? I can totally understand that being painful.

Basically, any relationship were there are irreconcilable differences or long standing disagreements about what is acceptable with the relationship, or it's not making you happy anymore, then yes...breaking up might be the best option.

It kind of doesn't matter if she is just his friend and housemate if it's painful and you want him to put in place different boundaries with other women to those he thinks are reasonable and wants for himself. It's an impasse and incompatibility.

The gender doesnt matter. He could be bisexual ffs. Would that mean hes not allowed to physically touch anyone but you??

Look, if he makes you insecure, dump him. But dont make out that he is unreasonable for having friends.

Sounds like you need to get with someone who doesnt have friends, which is fair enough, but you need to come to terms with the fact that you may lose partners if you insist they can't spend time around any female except yourself.

There’s some really bizarre comments on here, with an undertone of ‘If you’re not married, it doesn’t matter if your partner practically cheats on you’.

I’m with you OP - it’s not on, and it’s disrespectful to you. I’m fairly sure the OP doesn’t object to her boyfriend spending time with another female. It’s the amount of time he spends with the girl he houseshares with, and the context. Those of you who are married, would you be happy with your husband exercising with another woman on his back?

Go with your gut. I'd leave.

He is behaving as if he is very close to her. It is unlikely he would be that close to her if he wasn't attracted to her.

It is absolutely ok for a man to have female friends but there should be boundaries.
went for a meal just them two. He also waited in the nail shop with her while she got her nails done. - definitely looks dodgy. playfighting is not acceptable.
Trust your gut feeling.

If his behaviour and actions are making you feel SHIT.... End it