Confused.. not sure how to react to this possible ghosting?

[crazylurcherlady]

Hey... long time lurker looking for advice! I dabbled on tinder briefly last year and ended up matching with a local guy who I have seen in passing before but never spoken to. Swapped numbers, casual chatting every few days etc on and off for months but both very busy and I was going on other dates etc. Every now and and again contact would ramp up and meeting would be talked about by us both and suddenly he would go quiet again. This happened a few times. In the end I left it as was briefly dating someone.

Recently there has been some trouble locally right near his area and I sent a whatsapp just saying sounds awful and I hoped it hadn't affected his livelihood etc. Anyway got chatting again it's been contact every day, plans to meet suggested by us both but always seems to fall flat. Once he was in a and e so obviously can't be helped, this Friday we were set to meet and he called to say he's sorry but another incident road closed etc police wanting to speak to everyone and gather cctv. I said no worries can't be helped and he suggested meeting Saturday, and that he hoped to be free after x time. I had a few more texts from him later that evening just to say police still in road etc have I had a nice evening and the last text I had said hopefully he will finish work by x time tomorrow.

Well x time came and went and I've heard nothing since, my messages are on unread and I just find it rude. I send one saying what time are you thinking? And as the day went on another to say could I know either way as trying to plan my time. There may well be a genuine reason but he's been online on facebook (friends on there) and it's all just odd. I sent a final one last night just saying I hoped it was ok.

Why spend weeks texting me and calling me only to disappear apparently once again! I have no idea how to react to this. Advice anyone? We both know each other from seeing each other around at various things etc so I'm very confused weather to think stuff it and tell him he's wasted my time or just ignore it. He seemed really up for meeting up too. I hate dating 

Not to drip feed but he alluded to his past quiet antics being due to a mentally ill family member needing support, he has recently opened up to me about this. However I fail to see how reading or responding to a message interferes with this.

It doesn't really matter why. He's not treating you well. That's enough.

Focus on you and what you want and look to the future. Life's too short to waste part of it worrying about a flake.

Thank you, flake is the word that's floating round my head too! It just seems frustrating to be left hanging.

Married

I know he's definitely single has been for ages. Mutual friends of friends etc small place. In a way if he was Atleast I'd have my answer!

He’s just not that into you..

It’s just not worth it - who cares he’s not selling himself

Block and move on

Please stop wasting your time. You have already spent far too much time on this fuckwit. Block and move on.

Your all right.... also if it went further I would be gutted if he then went quiet again.

As for he's not that into you... hurts but I expect true. Just why bother to call and message in the first place, but I imagine he liked the attention. I jokingly asked him once whether he just liked the attention and got a sharp message back saying he wasn't that shallow... hmmm looks like he is 😂

Atleast you didn’t sleep with him and him act like this..

Pumpkin that's so true!! That would feel much worse. It's just baffling

He messages when there's nothing else going on to interest him, then when something does he lets you down. By maintaining silence and not excusing himself he avoids creating an issue so he can message again when it suits him and he wants something.

That would be my guess, anyway.

Block and delete, he is a player.

Why would you allow this guy to treat you like this!? Where is your dignity? (((Hug)))

Block him and don’t put up with shit like this from anyone!

I think my dignity is buried somewhere just need to retrieve it I'm just overly annoyed this time as he was happy to let me wait round

Whatever his reasons, he is keeping you 'dangling'. Messaging you and 'mentioning' meeting up without actually doing it. He's either just not that into you but has had no better offers, or isn't actually serious about meeting someone at all and just enjoying the attention.
Either way, I would block his number now and move on.

I wonder if it's the thrill of the chat and talk of the potential 'meet' but it never actually gets that far.. maybe people just love the 'notifications' popping up on their phones y'know.. mundane as that sounds.. it might be part of the issue...

oh gawd.. Im rambling.. I'm likely talking rubbish..

If someone shows you the kind of person they are, listen.

At least he is doing this now and you can walk away relatively unscathed. If he texts in the future, just don't respond. Sorry OP, at best he is so self absorbed he has no empathy for how others feel or-even worse-he knows exactly how this would make someone feel and does it anyway.

Lucky escape!

Flake! I had one of these, after the third cancelled date I just stopped messaging. Stung a bit but I knew it was the right thing to do.

Who knows what his motive is. We could sit here and chat about it until the cows come home. But what's more important is this, do you think you deserve more than being treated like this? If you do, block him and move on. If you don't, let him carry on like he is doing.
Men don't tend to piss around when it's someone they want to be with, date. So this should tell you all you need to hear.

All true... thought maybe he's nervous but that's no excuse to treat someone badly. Delete it will be!!

I know he's definitely single has been for ages
Well, what a shocker! NOT!!!
Hardly surprising he's single if he treats people like this.
Time to block and delete and move on from this one.
Throw him back!

Some people really do use these sites as pure ‘entertainment’ every now and then, they enjoy the ego boost and attention but aren’t really bothered about a relationship, would be better if there was a big site called ‘chit chat’ or something like that where all these time wasters who post on dating sites could go.