Women after my DH, what to do?

[SmileysPeeples]

My Dh is a tutor at a uni. One of his (much younger, but still 29yrs) students seems to have developed a crush on him.

She sends him emails at home and I don't think she realises we share our email account and read each others emails.

There's nothing too obvious in them, they are just a bit too friendly, and Dh and I have talkled about how she is quite a lonely woman.

She asked him to go out for a drink after a supervision session and I actaully encouraged him to go as I felt sorry for her.

Now she has emailed him and asked him to go round to her new house for a cup of tea.

I know my DH is not interested but I'm now beginning to feel a bit miffed with her.

Should I just allow and trust my Dh to deal with this professionally? He says he is just going to be very cold with her, as he does not want to give her any mixed messages from now on.

I'm feeling like I want to email her back, tell her we share our email account and that I don't think it's apprpriate for my dh to go around to her house.

I do tend to react impulsively to things, would that reaction be OTT?

I have had a EUREKA moment.

How about making him as unattractive as possible? Following the "do you dress your man" thread - you buy all his clothes in the wrong size and in hideous colours. That T-shirt sounds like the right sort of thing in this context. Convince him that yellow food colouring in toothpaste is dentally necessary. Shave his head. Really revolting deodorant is a must. As a don, he must wear glasses which gives you an ideal opportunity to avoid the stylish and go straight to the NHS rack. Throw in some crocs. Rub a bit of dirt into his face - he might not notice if the glasses are the wrong prescription as well as unsightly.

Hurlyburly that's what ALL lecturers look like already and they STILL have to fight the young girls off

and a cheesecloth shirt

Not a bad ideaHurlyBurly, all I have to do is let him dress himself, choose all clothes and buy all his own clothes from now on, and no one will ever look at him again.

Truly his taste is hideous and requires careful monitoring.

He's only been a tutor at the uni for a year and when he took the role on I TOLD him this would happen (I am so wise) I'm just worried about when someone nice normal attractive and most imporatntly who really 'connects' with him falls for him.....

The craziest places are Oxbridge colleges where the teaching is one-to-one, in the prof's home, and frequently in the evening, lots of profs going to students' parties etc. I hear terrible stories from friends of mine who went through this. If I hadn't been too thick to go there, I would have had it off with all the horrible tutors and cried, or tried and failed to have it off with all the good ones and cried.

Blimey, Macneil, I think someone's been spinning you a yarn! I don't know anyone who had a tutorial /supervision at a tutor's home. Come to think of it, though, I think the average academic would be safer at home, because then their tutees would all see their harridan of a wife/husband (), their four snotty children, and their hideous pit of a home with its mysteriously whiffy drains and thick layers of dog hair on all surfaces.
One of my tutors did ask me out, and I was so flummoxed I said yes, then stood him up, and spent the rest of the academic year hiding from him.

Ha ha, it wouldn't surprise me! I believe anything they tell me, the big swots - the formal dinners every night, the ritual goat killings...

"One of my tutors did ask me out"

Bah, very jealous. I threw myself at mine!

I don't think he should be cold with her but he should be honest with her and say it isn't appropriate to visit her at home. Most women (apart from the most thick skinned) would get the message at that point. And then if you had to I'd go down the cheery I'm x's wife and he's away at the moment and can't answer your email until y suggestion - at which point she really should get the message.......

Would your DH be able to say to her

" I don't want to be presumptious or to offend you but I think I must tell you that I love my wife very dearly and my relationships with my students are strictly tutor / student relationships "

?

I work in a uni myself as a lecturer and am amazed at the amount of students that fancy their tutors, however, in most cases it is just that, they fancy their tutors and it is not reciprocated. I would not intervene, I am sure your dh can handle the situation, and it is something he will have to get used to dealing with.