This morning I made the unfortunate discovery that my husband would never change. I feel like some of this is my own fault, as I did know what type of person I was marrying. We have a 4yo DD together.
Throughout our relationship he has had episodes of cheating or attempting to cheat, and those are only the times I knew of. I forgave him for circumstantial reasons, his DM had passed away, he was depressed, he started an affair with his ex after seeing her again at his DM funeral which lasted 8 months, and I stupidly forgave because my own DM had been diagnosed with a terminal illness (she passed 6 months later) and I did not want to be alone. And of course I didn’t want to break up the family for DD.
Things have been ok for a while but not great. He has periods of drinking heavily and becoming vile and is currently not drinking. If I go anywhere with my DD, he does not want to come and always chooses to stay at home. He’s recently been picking at little things in mine and DDs behaviour.
Early this morning he came home after a night out with friends, I was still awake when he got home and he refused to come up to bed with me, saying he wanted a coffee. I’ve seen this behaviour before and did suspect him. When I came downstairs this morning he had left this phone on the side which he never does so he had obviously been very drunk.
On his phone or messages to a woman he met last night saying she is beautiful and she wants to know her, he’s also looked up anal and sites for shagging women - classy. This morning is the straw that’s broken the camels back, and I’m upset because I’m not upset that he’s done this. After everything I’m mentally just done.
My question now is how to prepare practically for this split, as I don’t want to turn my daughters world upside down. I have screenshots of everything he has done over the years, so there will be no denials.
In terms of living we rent and have no savings. I am due a large sum from my mum later this year and will be able to use this to get back on my feet. I would like to protect this if I can.
I’m told I will be eligible to claim as a single person but I have never claimed any benefit (apart from child benefit) so do not know the system at all. I work full time.
I already do all pick ups and drop offs for DD at school, run the house etc. So I know I can manage this.
I’m just want to get this right for DD so she isn’t affected more than what she needs to be.
I’m a little sad, and feeling lost not knowing where to start and how to take my life back.
If anyone could offer any advice I’d be grateful